AMERICAN IDOL-Week 2

I have been such a blog slacker this week. Happy St. Patrick's Day. I think I may be like 1/500th Irish and completely forgot about the holiday so Preston was pretty much the only kid in school in red today. I made up for the lack of green by making him broccoli with dinner. Tonight was country week on Idol. I have a couple of preliminary comments before we begin:

First when the judge's give you criticism just shut up and listen. Stop arguing. They are rich and famous, you're not yet. Just because you are in the Top ELEVEN does not make you record deal worthy yet. Take it to heart-we don't want to hear you had a hard time picking a song, you gave it your twist (meanwhile we don't even know you that well yet so your twist is not that big of a deal), you wanted to try something new, the song meant something to you because your 98 year old great uncle loved it as a kid growing up poor-what...ever. It's long enough now with DiaGuardi, don't add to the critique. And speaking of my favorite judge she came out rocking her discount rack G&G rubber silver top special. I must say the majority of my critique tonight focuses on the wardrobe since the night was BORING. And it's not that I do not like country, I do like some country, I just was not a big fan of a lot of the songs they chose-so without further ado...

Michael-This is where I first noticed the Randy Travis piano player. Did you catch this guy? After the contestant would sing their song, he would continue to play softly in the background while Randy pitched insightful rhetoric to each person. It was hilarious. It's like the soft music that would play during a Sex in the City episode when Carrie would be looking at Big, and then walking off with the East River to her back in her high heeled Manolos, liberated that she was a free woman (with a huge apartment in NYC on a 30 thousand dollar salary...ok digressing).

Alison-This girl reminds me of Kelly Clarkson voice-wise. I love how wardrobe matched her jacket , bow and necklace to her maroon hair. I also wonder if she understood what Randy meant when he said her performance was "dope" considering she was not alive when that term was used in modern jargon. Why didn't he just tell her she was mint and throw her a Kid n' Play album?

Kris-I think I am going to start a pool on how many more weeks Kris' marriage lasts now that he is like the hot commodity of Idol? He is safe this week and has sealed his fate on the "tour" so I wonder what this means when he has all those groupies outside hockey arenas that lend themselves to the Idol tour (which I totally went to with my sister after Season 5 btw). Kris also brought about the Randyism of the week, "tender dawg" which I assume translates to "emo guy with guitar."

Lil-who obviously did not have that heart to heart with wardrobe. When I think country I totally think high cut strapless satin cocktail napkin of a dress don't you? I am thinking of how cute Lil would have looked in jeans, a ribbed white tank from Old Navy and a cowboy hat? Not a hard outfit-she probably packed it with her already! If I was on Idol I would be wearing black head to toe and have a clause that you are not filming me from unflattering angles such as from behind. I also love how they told Lil they would have chosen "I Will Always Love You" for her. If she sang that they would have told her how she cannot duplicate Whitney. It's always that proverbial no win situation.

Adam-Bobbi, I know you love him, but seriously WTH was that all about? I love "Ring of Fire" and could have done without the Aladdin-esque version. When Randy Travis said "points for uniqueness" he meant "Mother of God! Please don't disgrace the Cash." Also love how Adam dressed the part for tonight-gold lame jacket and Brett Michael's tank top underneath. Lovin' it. Liked Adam so much more last week.

Scott-Scott was the first one to kick away the annoying piano guy that Randy was using so he could play. The song was pretty awful-the chorus swelled like it was an anthem in one of those puppet/human movies that are always a little creepy like Neverending Story or Labyrinth. Then Paula tells him he is using the piano as a crutch. Of course he is...the guy is almost 100% blind! I agreed with Simon here, what exactly would you like him to do? Think about Stevie and Ray-they sat behind the piano. No one was moon walking across the stage. Ridiculous.

Alexis-Nicest dress of the evening and killer earrings. So then they start panning the audience to those clapping and you see the subtitles-Contestant X's friends and family. I got to thinking, exactly what types of jobs do these people have that they all can come to Idol twice a week and they don't live remotely close to Hollywood? How many thank you points have they racked up for free mileage? How much vacation time have these people accrued? I wonder if people rent-a family you know if their family has a big presentation at work and can't get there do they just put people in the audience and label them friends? Alexis also promised to bring "dirty" back next week whatever that meant. And who is watching her child? Big picture of me on Idol living in some mansion getting three square meals a day, three pools, a horse, personal masseuse and my mom home alone suctioning Preston's boogers out each morning all while dealing with his sunny disposition at 7 am. (My kid will be the coffee drinker like mommy).

Danny-Besides the Backstreet Boy white jacket with Cousin Eddie National Lampoon white loafers, I loved him. Seriously just love him so much. Like Michael Johns, he can come out and truly recite the phone book and I would not care. By the way though-where is Jamal? Are they suddenly not friends anymore? He is never representing the Gokey crew when it is time for Danny's audience panning.

Anoop-Why was he dressed like a Best Buy employee at his audition with Randy? And then comes on stage with the Kanye West hooded cardigan? Anoop also had the most cliches tonight. Unlike O.J. he was told that the "glove fit" tonight and Simon told him he went from "Zero to Hero" (so cheesy). Love Anoop a loop!

Megan-Ok Megan is gorgeous even though I cannot stop focusing on the tattoo. It's like in Austin Powers when they had Fred Savage's character have a mole and that was all Austin could focus on. She has a cool voice but her dancing-it's like one of those battery operated toys on their last legs. Every now and then it jerks violently. Poor thing was sick. She had to get into costume, makeup, hair done. When I have indigestion I want to be left alone, so can you imagine singing with the flu?

Matt-So TV Guide wrote that Ryan told Matt he looks like Michael Buble. Next time Ryan and I IM each other I am going to make sure he gives me credit for the Buble comment. Really Ryan you silly guy. (*For new readers-I really don't IM Ryan but you must play along).

My pick to go home and hence lose the tour-first off why can't all 13 go on the tour? Is three extra people going to ruin the whole thing? Anyway-my pick to go is Michael. Runner up to go-Alexis.

And the picture of Preston for everyone: