Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Jason started the show with "Forever in Blue Jeans" and wore...blue jeans. What pissed me off was that he looks so much better than I do in jeans. His legs looked slim, he obviously does not have issues getting his thighs into them and his hips are not even a consideration. This never happens for me. I think the only thing worse than shopping for jeans is shopping for bathing suits.
Prior to David Cook's first number, Ryan told a story of having a station wagon (or stay wag) when he was younger. My parents had a blue stay wag when we were younger and the four of us literally almost drew blood to determine who would sit in that oh so safe back seat that faced the other cars in back of ours. The auto designers on this one really had child safety in mind didn't they? I mean did not one person envision the rear end collision? The possibility of multiple below-the-knee amputations? OK enough legal theorizing. David Cook honestly should just be crowned the winner now. I have an ulterior motive however for him becoming the American Idol. It has come out through the good people at TV Guide that David Cook is considering a duet with my main man Michael Johns. Anyone who supports the coming back of Michael gets my vote.
When Brooke sang "I'm a Believer" all I pictured was the final scene from Shrek with all the cartoon animals dancing and lip synching in the forest. Of course I could not take her seriously with visions of the gingerbread bread man dancing with Donkey floating through my mind. I also could not take her seriously in the denim version of the Seinfeld puffy pirate shirt.
Of course David Archuletta goes for "Sweet Caroline." I have some issues with this song. Well not so much the song as my issues with Neil. I liked it better when I did not know the song was inspired by anyone. When he finally broke his silence and told the world it was inspired by Caroline Kennedy I was cool with it. I mean she's a Kennedy for God's sake. But then Neil had to go on and say how he saw this picture of her as a little girl near a horse and she looked so cute, yada, yada yada and it suddenly felt a bit awkward. Think of the lyrics..."hands...touching hands...reaching out..." Anyone else feel a little AWK after that? He should have never brought up the horse. What annoyed me was the audience totally did not participate in the chorus so I sang along at home. Honestly this performance was so cheesy that it reminded me of something that would be sung on one of those after 7:00p.m. Disney Channel shows like Suite Life or Hannah Montana. Don't ask how I know about Disney after dark.
Syesha was pretty good but after both performances Simon thinks she'll be saying "Hello Again" to the bottom two. After her performance, Ryan gave the judges time to do a quick critique and this is where we found out Paula has lost it. She begins to critique Jason on both his songs, yet unless she has a Dolorean and traveled ahead fifteen minutes and then back, he has not yet performed. Even the audience was laughing and Ryan is looking off stage like, "WTF? Should we cut to commercial?" The judges thought Jason has lost the Jason from prior weeks. What I think is Jason has lost himself because Paula has stolen his secret stash and Jason is now totally stone cold sober for each show. Jason needs to toke and Paula needs to take her meds and the show will go on.
The second performances were OK, but honestly David Archuletta butchered "America." I really don't think the America card should put him through. Personally "America" is one of my favorite songs and of course is on the IPod. There is something so patriotic and awesome about Neil getting the audience to scream "Today" while he recites"My Country Tis of Thee." I mean in the car I completely fist pump with this song. (Not to mention it features a synthesizer....). When David sang this, it sounded so 8th grade talent show. Now when I was in eight grade in the talent show I was Wayne and one of my longest cherished childhood friends Cheryl was Garth. We did a "Wayne's World" skit that was so funny. Anyway, way off topic, but I thought he was terrible.
I think Jason should go, but Syesha will probably go. I think it is inevitable that the Davids will be in the finale.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Sunday was a pretty miserable day-cold, rainy, the complete antithesis of this past week. Preston was a really good boy at the grocery store and later in the day Aunt Tinka and Uncle Steve came over for dinner. Aunt Tinka helped make Preston's "Student of the Month" collage for school. It was like having a school project all over along! I leave you with the below picture-a testament to the agony I go through each morning before school because Preston's hair takes on a new life throughout the night. Here he is eating his french toast sticks with his Lyle Lovett hairdo!
Friday, April 25, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
But we were reminded just in case we forgot and have not been beat over the head with a rolled up soon to be recycled newspaper, that today was Earth Day. That's cool but honestly I heard the phrase Earth Day so much today I am ready to scream. I recycle, I pay all my bills online and I am soon ready to stop driving since gas by Memorial Day should reach $6 a gallon. We all feel much better knowing Idol will use green energy on their finale show (which I will miss, since I will be on an airplane because my selfish brother is getting married in Ireland and did not take into account my blog! LOL!)
Syesha started the show and was amazing. I also noticed that she was donning a new rock on her left hand-some schmuck is figuring they can marry her and cash in on her residuals from the show-because you know she is going to get some Broadway offer after tonight. Idol is no stranger to Broadway with Tamara Gray, Fantasia and Clay all having their respective stints. She looked fabulous! It was her element and she must coast through until next week.
Jason-oh my where to begin? I think Andrew put it best when he said "I never thought I would hear "Memory" sung by a guy in dreadlocks." It was, in Simon's words, "God awful." Prior to his performance while sitting on those carved out butt stools with Ryan, he told the world how nervous he was for this week. My favorite part of his montage was when he said, "I never knew the song was sung by a cat." Now I am hoping he just did not know the song was from Cats, but if he did, I would love to know what in the hell he thought a musical named Cats would be about. The judges said the song should only be sung by a lady. I would have them download Barry Manilow singing this song-he did a bitchin' performance. It's on the IPod.
Brooke did the mess up-the BIG sin of don't forget the lyrics (and no that was not a plug for Wayne Brady). Paula was very adamant about not stopping on a live show. Simon and Randy felt bad and I just knew that would win her the sympathy vote. I love the song, "You Must Love Me." Of course, it's on my IPod. (O.K. "Whip It" is on my IPod-I am not that discriminatory), but Madonna singing this song brings tears to your eyes. Brooke ain't Madonna. Even more irritating than watching her try not to cry when Paula was ripping her, were the mosh pit hand wavers.
Steve, my sister's boyfriend (or Seve as Preston calls him), hates David Archuleta. Steve and Katie join my parents each week for Chinese food and Idol. Steve mimicked David prior to a performance saying "I'm going to sing "Jesus, Jesus, I love Jesus" by the Jesus Band." David is that perfect. I bet if he smiled his teeth would give that gleam and a "ping" sound effect like an Orbitz commercial. But since Carly totally stole "Jesus Christ Superstar" which I completely thought David would pick, he picks "Think of Me." Andrew tells us this song was written for a diva, but since the judges have done everything except wipe David's behind, or maybe they have, he believes he is a diva and worthy of this song. Soon he'll be demanding a fur lined couch and separated M&M's in his dressing room.
Carly was really good but really nothing completely wowed me. Then there was David Cook. O.K. another flashback. In high school and the early college summers I worked at a catering hall called The Harbor Club as a waitress. Mel was a hostess and all of our friends worked there with us to make summer jobs more bearable. Anyway, we would endure all the New York/Long Island rituals, you know brides who like to be draped over pianos, massive ice sculptures, food to feed an army (everything I ended up demanding at my wedding-minus piano draping). Anyway there was a wedding band back in the late 90's called Katz. Katz consisted of a really bad lead singer who truly believed his calling was Broadway. Unfortunately for this guy, his reality was a five hour stint on a Saturday night on Long Island. Usually during the dinner hour at said Long Island weddings, the band has one guy who plays a soft piano or bass, but Katz offered the bride to be and her guests a whole new event. This lead singer would set up his synthesizer, leave the hall and undergo a metamorphosis into the Phantom. I swear that he put on a cape, a half mask and sang every ballad from the show during dinner. So one night Mel was working the hostess station and the transformation/morphing was complete. I should have mentioned that he now was ready to make his grand entrance by running or swooping into the ballroom. Only his bass player forgot to open the door and the lead singer flew off the glass to the ballroom like a pigeon and a skyscraper. HILARIOUS! OK, I digress. Katz I think disbanded prior to my wedding, although they would not have been a consideration anyway.
David was awesome. His"Music of the Night" interpretation was great. If you closed your eyes it was even better because you did not see the rocker, you just heard the voice. If they were to make a Moulin Rouge 2 Ewan McGregor would have some stiff competition from Mr. Cook. I also think Idol let him sing the entire song because that was more than two minutes. Meanwhile the lead singer of Katz was home tonight drinking himself into a slow stupor thinking about what could have been. To give you a sense of what this guy might be now-think of Steve Buscemi in Billy Madison and that is the lead singer of Katz today.
My prediction is Jason goes home. We'll see tomorrow folks.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Paula obviously broke into Jason Castro's drug stash and was completely out of her mind. Simon was embarrassed for her. She was "proud" of everyone. I should have counted how many times she said proud instead of Randy saying pitchy (two by the way). She also said that Ryan and Brooke looked amazing on stage together. She was a little much tonight to take.
The golden rule of Idol for seven seasons running is never sing Mariah. Tonight they sang Mariah. Simon and I are completely in sync because I too believed that the guys would do better than the girls because the voice comparison would not be as great for the guys. Let's reflect on Mariah a bit. If I was on Idol (like I pretend to be when I sing in the car), I would have a lot to talk to Mariah about. First, when the "Someday" video came out, I immediately ran to Jean County USA (store since bankrupt) to buy baggy jeans and a black bodysuit-or their other name, adult onesies. I never thought that after toilet training I would wear an article of clothing that snapped in the crotch, but I will have you know I had quite the bodysuit collection. Mariah also gave us the 1994 Christmas hit "All I Want for Christmas is You." That Christmas I had the world's biggest crush on a senior in my high school so I sang with a hairbrush to my mirror and secretly dedicated that song to my crush in hopes he would dump his girlfriend. (He eventually did by the way and is now one of my best guy friends in the world). Mariah also graduated from the public high school across the street where I lived. We could totally bond over local hot spots. Of course my number one question would be how amazing Derek Jeter was in the sack...ahem...moving on.
So the show kicked off with David Archuleta. When Mariah broke out onto the pop scene, David was an embryo so it was interesting to see what song he was going to pick. In Season 2 when Clay wore a red leather jacket Simon had a hemorrhage. Tonight David comes out in leather PANTS and no one makes one comment. It reminded me of the Friends episode when Ross wore leather pants and Chandler was not allowed to make mean comments about anyone. It was like the judges were Chandler. The leather pants were the 800 pound gorilla, but whatever. David broke two Idol rules, not only did he sing a Mariah song, but a Mariah song where she had a duet with WHITNEY! If there was a way for him to have thrown Christina Aguilera into the mix he probably would have. Of course David can do no wrong according to the judges. It didn't matter to them that he needed an eyebrow wax either.
Carly sang "Without You" and not that great. "Without You" is an Oh My God song. What is that you say? It is a song that by just listening to it makes you want to take a plastic butter knife and sever a main artery-it is that sad. And "Oh My God" must be said like the Boy George impersonator in The Wedding Singer. (When the bride walked down the aisle). Other OMG songs include "Almost Over You" by Sheena Easton, "Separate Lives" by Phil Collins and "Look Away" by Chicago. Pathetically sad songs. So Katie and I compiled them on a CD entitled OMG.
Syesha bored me as did Brooke tonight. I actually agreed with Paula that I thought Brooke rushed the song in spots. Then Kristy Lee who did not give me chills or Simon. I now know why I dislike her so much-she is aghast when a judge gives her a negative comment. It's like she is the shining star in her little town of 82 residents and her horses and now the big fish in the little pond is having a hard time swimming in the ocean. Ugh-she is probably going to make it to the finals the way this season is going.
David Cook was awesome. The tears put me over the edge. He reminds me a lot of Daughtry, but he is one hell of a risk taker and that will pay off...hopefully. I think he is the David to beat.
Jason closed the show, but was ok. What made me laugh is in rehearsal he sang toMariah's chest instead of Mariah, but hey he is a guy.
I am always wrong, but I think Carly is going. We shall see! (Renay hurry back from the Bahamas to read this post)
Monday, April 14, 2008
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
1) Melski-mark your calendar for the new night of your Fox 5 boyfriend-DR. HOUSE! He's back. So psyched.
2) I have very bad news fellow AI blog followers. For those of you that may not know, I am going to my brother's wedding in Ireland...without Preston! Matt has agreed to take Preston for 5 1/2 days so I can go to Europe. I found nothing appealing in taking Preston to Europe, so now as much as I am going to miss him and furnish Matt with a full instruction manual and duct tape his insurance card onto him, Mommy is looking forward to this little excursion. Now that Mystery Neighbor turned out to be a disappointment, my new movie/romance novel fantasy is meeting a nice Irish lad (with an accent of course) on the flight that slightly resembles one of my three favorite Irish actors---Patrick Dempsey, Dylan McDermott or Dermott Mulroney. Either will do. Anyway where is the bad news you say? My flight is the same night AS THE FINAL TWO and I will be in Ireland for the FINALE! I am beside myself. Truly I am a loser that needs to possibly break away from the television, but I am e-mailing the hotel to see if there is a chance I will catch the show since the USA is eight hours ahead. What Katie and I think is that Chris and Anna should reschedule their wedding (after all they have been married civilly since October-hee hee) and accommodate my AI schedule. I suggested it to Chris. He ignored me....
3) Pitchy was used twice tonight.
Anyway on to the TOP EIGHT! Inspirational songs. Totally bummed no one sung Mr. Mister's "Kyrie" or I don't know Chicago's "You're the Inspiration." I'm still waiting for Idol does Monster Ballads. That would rock!
We started the night off with Michael. The only complaint I have is I could have done without the kerchief. I have seen many a golden retriever wearing the same scarf. Not flattering. Love him regardless of his super bad Steven Tyler impression. There are less contestants now so I feel his minute thirty seconds can be extended. I think everyone can take one for the team and let Michael have ten of their seconds.
Syesha sang Fantasia. I personally disliked Fantasia and her voice. I never saw the "star" potential in her, but then again Season 3 as a whole sucked. I just don't see Fantasia as inspirational unless you are learning to read. I mean her follow up track to "I Believe" was "Baby Mama." And if Syesha was looking for inspirational Idol songs she had a myriad to choose from like Ruben's "Flying Without Wings" or Taylor Hick's "Do I Make you Proud." (*Sidebar...I actually have these two songs on my IPod for that reason). Personally I thought she sang it better than Fantasia, her voice is much better and Syesha is beautiful,but she was browbeaten again.
Did anyone else like totally pee in their pants watching Jason play the ukulele? It just struck me funny. I love that version and it was featured in both of Preston's yearly photos-to-music montages. He did a great job.
Kristy Lee Cook. First off she totally wore that outfit before. I distinctly remember a sequined tank top. It may be a different metallic shade, but really. I have a great idea. Let's take Kristy's minute thirty and give it to Michael. I cannot waste anymore space on this blog about her.
David Cook-sorry to everyone, I am a fan but he was GOD awful tonight. First off no one knows that song. Secondly I thought the writing on his hand was a bit much. It must have been suggested by the same lame people that put together those cheesy fake Ford Focus commercials on the results show. David needs to tone it down a bit. You are not Daughtry yet and besides Daughtry toured with Bon Jovi and I love him (Totally off topic but it had to be said).
Carly to me looked like a bad Pat Benatar video. She sag that song terribly. Freddy rolled a few times over in his grave tonight. I love how Simon kept looking over his shoulder as if Carly's husband would jump out of the audience and attack him with a face piercing. Oh My! What if on the way to Ireland I sit next to someone that looks like Mr. Smithson?
This is what I want David Archuleta to do. Walk out, sing, walk offstage. Don't talk, don't smile that ridiculous insipid smile, just stop. He is so breathy when he speaks I cannot deal! He breathes his words. The only other person I knew who did this (and this will be lost on those out of the tri state area) was a DJ on Star 99.9 named Elizabeth Yates who announced the love songs at nightwith dedications. She honestly was so breathy I think she was getting it on with the night janitor in between playing Aaron Neville and Peabo Bryson. What made me laugh about his little intro was he says,"I could not decide what song to sing." So I guess he asked his dad. Do you think his dad threatens him before the show? Is that why he is breathy-he is anticipating getting the crap kicked out of him if he does not sing right? He has a great voice, but I don't see him as a star.
When Brooke came out to sing the first thought that went through my mind with that hair and outfit was she was a dead ringer for the older sister on The Wonder Years. She is still a little too pure for me.
So the kick off is Thursday-I have predicted everything wrong thus far, but believe Carly or Syesha is gone even though I am holding out hope Kristy is gone. Looking forward to Idol Gives Back. Loved that show last year. Enjoy it everyone!
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Now I must respond to Tonya's blog. I am not yet keen on the whole hyperlinking thing, but her blog about her beautiful son Knoah is in the links section. She started off by stating that some people would look at Knoah and think he is imperfect. Personally those people should be shot because I have never met Knoah but totally think he is awesome. Knoah has given Tonya a run for her money and strengthened her into being our LP resident mom. Knoah has persevered through it all showing the world what a strong little man he is. She asked us to write about our "imperfect" child. So here goes.
I must say being Catholic, we believe that the last perfect person was hung on a cross, so I have to say my view of perfect is "perfect for me." "Perfect for me" still leaves room for imperfections, but those imperfections make him perfect. (WTF? you say? There is the English major in me. I mean really I had to dissect poems about rocks and look for a double meaning when really the poem was probably about a friggin rock). What I mean is, the imperfections in Preston are what makes him so perfect. (Yeah still not making sense, huh)? Here are some imperfections:
1)Preston has "listening ears" at school, which are happily left at the front door on our way out...every single night.
2) Preston's perception of "no" is "I don't hear Mommy. Not listening. Not listening. Still going to jump on my bed."
I am trying to take a picture of Preston because I don't have many pictures of him (cough cough) and he is very focused on the M&M dish. For a kid who is supposed to have shorter arms, they certainly reach the things he is not supposed to have. I told him at least fifteen times let's not grab the dish. As you can see the listening ears (gone since we are home from school) are not on and the word "no" has again escaped all regions of his brain. See that defiant look?
3) Preston still thinks the corner is fun.
4) When Preston gets pissy instead of asking for help it is sensible to just throw whatever object is pissing him off (Crocs, a truck a box he cannot open)
Those are just some examples. There is nothing perfect about the "Terrible Twos." Nothing. And although I told my parents I am not making it to three, these idiosyncrasies do make up Preston at two so I have to just roll with them and know that those times are outweighed by my angel baby!
I love him so damn much it hurts. When he smiles he melts my heart. When he dances to "Proud Mary" I want to cry he so cute. He is so smart. I know I am biased. But he recognizes symbols and labels. For example, my mother drives a Mercedes. He is familiar with the symbol and every time he sees a black Mercedes on the road he thinks it is Ba. I drive a Chevy Equinox. He recognizes black Chevy trucks and thinks they are Mommy's. Well this morning he is in the kitchen with a Matchbox car and staring at my parents and stating over and over "Ba's. Ba's" This went on for about a minute until I realized his little chubby finger is pointing to the symbol on the Matchbox car! Would you believe the symbol is a Mercedes symbol? It's so tiny and the same color as the metal yet he recognized it! (Who also knew Matchbox was so hip)? Hew was so darn proud of himself he was bursting. When he watches Jakers! in the morning and the sheep do something silly he belly laughs. When he calls me and it is "Mommy! Mommmmeeee!" I just want to stop time and keep him in that moment forever.
So I thank you Tonya. Thank you for taking the time out to have all of us moms realize why our kids are so perfect in our eyes, even with their imperfections. As my sister would say, if he did not have those shorter legs I wouldn't love him as much! The thing is she truly means that! :-)
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
The Idols sung Dolly Parton songs. Dolly is so cute I want to bottle her up or put her in a cage and take her home. She has penned over 3000 songs! That is more songs than my IPod can hold!
Simon was in a really bad mood. I think he only liked David Archuleta. He may have liked Michael, but my DVR cut off to record DWTS results, so I never heard his comments. We started the night off with Brooke. She is really pure and angelic-I mean her last name is even White. It's almost a little too much to take at times. I just want to see her in UsWeekly with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth, hair askew and forgone undergarments. There has to be a skeleton in her closet somewhere...come on!
David Cook cracked me up. I just could not take him seriously using that throaty laden rocker voice to sing about a SPARROW! Sparrows are so little with those toothpick legs that can just break if they hop too hard. He should reconsider singing about birds. Maybe next week he can sing "The Rose" (and double bonus points if he does Happy Hands from Napoleon Dynamite).
Ramiele was pretty good. I think the problem here is she has a great voice she just does not project onstage. Dolly said the best line tonight in describing Ramiele and I think it quite appropriate for most of our kiddos..."Fact that she's little ain't gonna stop her from doing big things." Perfect saying. I love it! I felt bad for Ramiele. She could not wait for Fox to break to a Ford Focus commercial to run offstage and bawl her eyes out. Poor thing. Jason I thought was good and I don't think he was stoned this week.
Before Carly was even done singing, I said to myself (self and I have lots of conversations by the way), "Wow Carly seriously wears the same top every week!" Then Simon bashed her wardrobe. How Queer Eye for Simon. The red sweats with the funky black Renaissance top were not working together.
ARGH on Kristy Lee totally getting through this week again....country is the girl's thing and she pulled it out. I almost, almost was going to admit she did well until she was obnoxious to Simon and then I hated her all over again.
Syesha (my pick to go home this week) sang "I Will Always Love You." When I heard she was singing that I immediately thought Buh-Bye Syesha. Get the montage of your Idol journey rolling. First off, I love this song. I loved "The Bodyguard." I loved everything about this song. It came out when I was in ninth grade. After all in ninth grade I had some "serious life altering" events in my life...a boyfriend named Frankie that the following year would ask my so called best friend to the Homecoming behind my back, I had lockers to decorate for birthdays, love song mix tapes to make to cry to over Frankie not calling at exactly 9:00 p.m., a cute senior I asked to the Cotillion during a "break" with Frankie...People I HAD PROBLEMS! Apparently these problems were so great that by the time my Sweet Sixteen candle lighting ceremony rolled around at the end of tenth grade, you can count on both fingers and toes how many times I said "Thank you for being there. You have been there through those dark times...and I totally love you." (No really I said that. I don't speak to half the people I supposedly loved through those times). I look back now and wish to God to go back to the dark times...you know when my parents paid for the cell phone I use, the car I drove, the TV I watched,the electricity I used,the groceries my fat butt eats and when I got a $200 refund check from the government for being a camp counselor over the summer life was good because I could buy a new CD, not pay a bill. Don't we all miss the dark times? So songs like "I Will Always Love You" got me through those dark times.
But when will the Idol hopefuls learn? You can maybe eek by a Celine song, if you are good, but you can never attempt Christina, Mariah or Ms. Houston. Just don't do it. They have never liked a version of these songs sung by anyone other than Christina, Mariah and Whitney. I totally agreed with Simon-when Whitney takes the pregnant pause and then belts "AND I...." it's poignant. It's moving. It's Whitney. It just is.
The night ended with eye candy, I mean Michael, who just gives me one minute and thirty seconds of pure elation. I have decided my next husband has to have an accent. My sister in law is English and I just love hearing her speak.
So as I said we will be celebrating Syesha home tomorrow night. Yeah about that. Ruben re-did that song and it usually is only pulled out of archives around Christmas time. Katie always thinks of Preston coming home from the hospital when she hears that song which makes me cry.
Next week is Idols Gives Back and I assume again in the spirit of Idol giving back, no one will go home, meaning I have Kristy Lee for another two weeks. Kim-Out.