Our Weekend with Tinka

   My sister came down this weekend and we had a great time together.  Saturday after scarfing down lunch we headed to the pumpkin farm.  This year we did some new things at the farm-my mom and Katie shot corn out of air guns (which was hilarious to think that my mom with her Louis Vuitton shot husked corn) and we conquered the corn maze.  To get through said maze you had to correctly answer 24 questions on the agriculture of Virginia.  Now…I may even have trouble answering a quiz on the seasons of Desperate Housewives so can you imagine me doing this-which crop is the largest in VA?  I totally would have guessed tobacco-that was not even a choice.  Apparently the state soil is called pamunkey.  See I learned something amidst the stalks.  Here are some pictures:

 

Last year Preston wanted the big pumpkin.  This year because he realized he could not pick it up and to keep his manliness told me “I don’t like the big pumpkins Mommy.”  So this is the one he picked:

Katie and Preston really enjoyed playing in shelled corn.  I think Katie had more fun.  I was pulling corn out of his underwear, but at least he had a good time. It’s funny that the last pics of Katie you saw she was all dolled up in a wedding gown.  Now she is wearing a t-shirt with a dog farting fire. 

Katie and my mom doing duck races.  My mom totally kicked her rear on this.  Katie’s poor duck did not stand a chance!

The bounce house!  Notice Preston is literally IN FLIGHT!

On Sunday we went to eat at the Boat House on the reservoir.  I thought these pics were really cute:

Fall-What I Like and Don't Like

Here is what I love about the fall:

1) NFL Football

2) Post Season baseball

3) The return of all my favorite shows

4) My hair does not need the flat iron as often

5) My eyeliner does not run onto my top lid (why does that happen anyway-I sit behind a desk! I mean I am not lifting weights and even so, do your eyelids sweat?)

6) Jeans with high heels.

And you totally thought I was going to say pumpkins and cider and the leaves changing colors....well that too of course ;-)

What I hate about Fall:

1) Retiring flip flops eventually (like November)

2) It gets dark earlier making way to the eventual 3:30 pm sunset (O.K. fine! 4:15)

3) Christmas decorations out now. Utterly ridiculous and they take away from the autumnal scenes. Yes I get it Christmas is three months away-I don't need it shoved quite that far down my throat yet. Although on the upside we can all start using the Santa threat!!! Yipee. In fact I already bought two gifts (BUT Preston is a December baby so I have to get double).

4) The realization that everything Preston owns is too long in the arms and legs and I can't sew (remember my status update on Facebook about feeling like a failure amidst the customers in Ben Franklin? I started hyperventilating somewhere between the pipe cleaners and glue guns). So I totally bend over and pay like $100 for hemming of the pants. ARGH! Summer is soooo much easier for this reason. Hopefully the tailor gets it right this time-let's hope she won't sew boobs into Preston's pants.

5) The fact that the Red Sox will probably eek their way into fall baseball.

6) JACKETS-I hate wearing jackets (other than like the stylish blazer). I hate gloves and hats too. I don't hate the fall-I just hate the inevitable-January through March. Weatherwise let's be honest-they suck. I get sad that summer goes so fast. I'm not one for sweating at all, but I am still sorry to see it go.

We are getting ready for the arrival of Mrs. Reed, or Katie, to Virginia this weekend. The firepit is ready and we have already tested it out. Preston has made sure to stuff about four marshmallows in his mouth already. He also is getting bitten alive by the bugs down here. So much so that they turn into welts. One started to form a ring so I naturally diagnosed him with Lyme Disease. Even though I am pretty sure Preston has not gotten cozy with a deer lately. but nevertheless. I really (forgive me) so did not want to go to the emergency pediatrician center on a sunny Saturday, so my mother suggested the good ol' CVS pharmacist. Both of the pharmacists have lived here their whole lives. They told me (even after I knew this from vast research of 15 minutes on Web MD) that Lyme Disease forms a bulls eye. I was convincing myself Preston had a bull's eye mark. I was directed to Aisle 9...hydrocortozone.

Well hope everyone has a great weekend!!!! Here is a cute pic of Preston from Sunday after deciding he had had enough football:

And my sister's wedding pictures from the professional were up. I totally LOVE this one of Preston.

Still Nothing Too Exciting

But Mel reminded me in an abrupt e-mail that I have neglected the blog. Basically I have nothing too exciting going on. I am thinking very deep about perhaps installing a DVD player in my car. On the ride up to NYC in my mother's car this was typical Preston:

Did not stop flapping the mouth. Once we hit NYC and I borrowed my father's car-this was Preston:

Much more pleasant. Especially since he loves the earphones I can listen to my 80's on 8 music on satellite without interruption (which totally rocks by the way). The only snag is Preston is really not in the car with me anymore. I drop him off two minutes after the commute starts. (Don't be jealous-coffee and alone time for 30 minutes after drop off-bliss). So this contraption would have been useful...oh about a year ago when we lived in New York.

Other than that, nothing too exciting-coming down from the wedding. Katie is visiting next weekend and I can barely contain my excitement. I think she will be posting my speech on her blog-I'll keep you posted. Usually though when Katie tells you she'll post something it could take awhile-and she's a newlywed-blogging hopefully is not on her list of priorities unlike her uncool, single sister (LOL).

I want to congratulate the Greene and Hedger families on their newest additions! YAY! Cannot wait to see more pictures. Hope everyone is having a great back to school week. Preston started Montessori and his teacher is a doll. She told me after day 1 he was super smart-that's my big brained boy! Have a great week everyone!

Going to the Chapel and We’re Gonna Get Married!!!!

They did it!  Katie and Steve are the new Mr. & Mrs. Reed.  And perhaps I am biased but my sister was the most gorgeous bride ever.  They had a beautiful day!  There was so much food!  The cocktail hour featured a Caribbean station, a pasta station, Asian fusion station, Spanish station, seafood station, sliders station, antipasto table, passed hors de oeuvres and more.  The meal was fabulous and dessert hour featured a fondue station, hot apple cobbler and bread pudding, every pie and cake imaginable, and ice cream bar, fill your own cannoli and cream puffs and cordial bar.  Preston was less than stellar but thankfully slept through the entire mass-even snoring apparently.  Thank you Aunt Melski for watching him.  Some highlights-I was supposed to walk into the room to the part during “Mony Mony” where Billy Idol says “Ride the pony.”  I think I can dance.  I can’t.  My sister knows how to do this move called riding the pony.  I pretend I can do it.  I can’t.  The DJ messed up and did not play the song at that part (perhaps you guys should have gone with the band…) My sister and father danced to “I’m Already There” by Lonestar.  Until the music scratched and stopped and paused….only to start with Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy” which my father loves and the two of them busted a move on the dance floor.  No one except Steve knew this.  It was so funny.  My sister’s favorite musician is Billy Joel.  My speech incorporated between 20-25 Billy Joel song titles.  Pretty good-I pat myself on the back.  Here are just some of the amazing photos.  I am sure Katie will put a lot on Facebook and in the photos section, if I am tagged you guys will be able to view them if she beats me to the punch.  Congrats Katie & Steve.  I love you both!!!!

Getting ready!  GORGEOUS!

Oh  Katie had a stress fracture.  Here are the maids Christine and Maeve wrapping her foot!

 

 

 

Preston Idol

Here is Pres singing "Take me Out to the Ballgame." It's usually sung without any prompting from me, but camera pressure takes over when I yell, "action!" I figured you have not had a Preston video in awhile!

"He Loves the Mud" and my Tailor Sucks

So my mother goes to pick up Preston today and he is in his cubby clothes. When asked why his outfit was changed she was told, "Oh Preston was playing in the mud. He loves the mud." Fantabulous. I love paying in excess of ten thousand dollars a year for Preston to play in mud. Some would say, "Oh he's a boy. Boys like mud." But seriously, this is supposed to be school. This is supposed to be a time when kids are taught outdoor recreational games like "Red Rover, Red Rover," "Duck Duck Goose" maybe even "Simon Says," in addition to some playtime on the equipment. I have a real issue with my son playing with mud during school hours. Do you know what lurks in mud for all those mud-loving advocates? Parasites. Lots and lots of parasites. And if your kid gets a parasite everything must be disinfected and the whole family on antibiotics. I'm not naive. I know Preston picks up dead worms, runs through the garden, splashes in puddles. Yet when he is at school let's try something more stimulating then playing in possible feces-lurking bugs. Maybe during art class he should pick his nose and glitter his boogers.

O.K. sorry about the rant. Take a breath-here comes the second. We are T-minus five days until the wedding and I pick up my dress from the tailor. Holy hell, I could have done better than this and I have a lot of difficulty threading a needle. She sewed in cups, diagonally. So my right side is higher than the left and there is a huge gaping valley of material in the middle. Oh and the cups not only are lopsided but have two tiny protrusions in odd places. So tomorrow my mother will drop off the dress, she can remove the cups and I will have to be re-fitted. Total nightmare. Otherwise I hope Katie likes long black gowns because that is what I am wearing. ARGH! Perhaps if the damn dress store did not insist on ordering me a size that would fit a Giants linebacker we would not have to do this much resizing. Preston's blazer arms are perfect length-almost. I just don't have time to have the sleeves lengthened the 1/4 inch. You heard me....lengthened. Surely that's ludicrous. Who has an achon child that goes to the tailor to have clothes lengthened? AHHHHHHH!!!!!

Other than that though things are honky dorey. I really am looking forward to the wedding. Even though right now I have nothing to wear. Oh and I haven't written my maid of honor speech yet. I work best under pressure so it will probably be written Thursday night. I would like to incorporate some humor. You know something hilarious like when my ex tells me he's made his child support payments.

So far my hair has been highlighted (very blond) and trimmed, Preston got a really great haircut and my pedicure is complete. Still have to wax my eyebrows. I let them go an extra week to get a nice arch but right now I resemble Bert from Sesame Street. Here are a few pics of the dude. Wish us luck driving to New York. Preston is not happy about driving. He told me, "Mommy the car does not have wings. We need to take a plane." A little spoiled?

I Have Nothing Other than my Son is Cute

Nothing too exciting has been going on. We have had no impromptu hospital visits which I suppose is fabulous, although Pres will need his tonsils out. I don’t know how much I trust getting that surgery done in a center that has not dealt with a fair share of achon kids, so I think I will call Hopkins and see if he can have it done there-once again with good ol’ commercial insurance I am sure they will oblige. What else, what else…My ex has decided child support does not have to be paid yet this month…perhaps because the state told me that persons paying usually have thirty days according to the court order. I told them just how wrong they are. being a lawyer admitted in not one but two states, I am pretty confident that when reading a notice of settlement that states in black and white “one or before the first of the month” does not translate into anytime one wants within thirty days. I mean unless I skipped the course in law school entitled “Making S&#$%T Up.” I also told them I don’t get thirty days to pay tuition. They have realized the mistake and hopefully that can be taken care of for next month. ARGH! I took my computer to Best Buy. Katie totally broke my computer when she was here once (although she will vehemently deny same) and so I hand over the computer to the Geek Squad to perform yet another “diagnostic" and found out my motherboard is history. The word “motherboard” amuses me. It sounds like a term out of a bad alien outer space movie. They were able to recover all my data. The funniest thing about the data recovery is they hand you your computer’s hard drive on a CD in a folder that says “CLASSIFIED.” I mean, I guess, if you consider Preston’s life in pictures classified. So here are some things we have been up to:

Here’s the dude posing in front of his puzzle. He is going to graduate to harder puzzles as he puts these together with ease. I was a HUGE puzzle maker and my mom always took a picture of me by a puzzle after I completed it.

Here is my new favorite pic of the dude and I…

Preston has also taken a liking to riding the stationary bicycle my mother has in the kitchen. It’s just for show and doesn’t move but I think Preston believes if he tries hard enough…it may move.

Preston loves his Octopus Play Doh set. He had a blast playing with it. Even loved the little fish I made for him obviously…

And in TWO weeks my little sister is getting married. I cannot WAIT! It’s going to be so much fun. Here are a few cute pics of us together!

My Attempt to Be Funny After A Not So Good Few Days

Argh. Friday afternoon I pick up Preston from school and was informed he had fallen earlier in the day off a bike and hit the back of his head. OK. Thanks for phoning me. This is followed up with, "And he is saying he doesn't feel well, but he ate and slept." I pick up my son whose cheeks are magenta, his shirt is stuck to his body with so much sweat I may rip the top layer of epidermis off peeling it off and his hair-well let's just not even discuss it. Meanwhile it's about 97 degrees outside and there is not a drop of water to be found anywhere. I think Preston might be looking at me but to him I look like a giant Poland Spring bottle. And just in case you are not sure, I am kind of an alarmist. Like Web MD is bookmarked on the computer. I secretly wish I was a doctor and not a lawyer, but I would be akin to Dr. House-think an ailment is the worst possible communicable disease and then it turns out to be an infected splinter. Anyway I check the pupils, equal in size, no bump, he is hot because he has been out in the virtual desert-but I conclude we'll take the "wait and see" approach.

Saturday morning. Texted Tonya. We go back and forth and agree he's ok. All's well. We go out for a walk and that is where the day takes its turn. He comes home and presents with a 102 fever. Dammit! Who gets fevers in the summer? I start the alternating Tylenol then Motrin and he takes his first shot of Motrin. Then the complaining starts. "My head hurts Mommy." And he is touching the back of his head where he fell. So I go to the computer (my medical almanac that so far has correctly told me I have five forms of cancer, an ocular tumor and a possible case of leprosy, but what the hell-let's give it a shot). Of course I find the article about the child in the ICU with a closed head injury who subsequently developed a fever and massive infection.

We head to my home away from home for hypochondriacs-the ER. Luckily it's pretty empty on a gorgeous Saturday, I do a quick pan and conclude there are no other psychotic mothers here. He gets triaged. This is always fun. I sometimes wonder who taught these triage nurses or if they just picked people up off the street and gave them complimentary scrubs. They look at Preston (not me who is 31 and can fully give them an appropriate answer) and ask him if he will keep the thermometer under his tongue. Naturally he says "yes" as I say "no" and for some reason his answer is much better than mine so they attempt and end up with the thermometer under his armpit. They say he has no fever. Miraculously he went from 102 to 97 during the ten minute drive. We get put in a room. I talk to like fifteen people. They look in his ears, throat, listen to his chest and stomach. They decide they will do a chest x-ray because they hear some congestion (once again ignoring me telling them that his Eustachian tube is smaller and he always sounds like that). They brush me off-after all every lay person knows vocabulary that is taught to an otolaryngologist. I consent to the CT only because I feel there could be a correlation between the fever and the fall. We go into the x-ray room first, then the CT room where Preston is told it's just a giant donut machine to keep him calm. I am thinking the way these people have been today I believe they really think it's called the giant donut machine. I make them look me in the eye as I explain that the radiologist must read the scan differently because he has achon and his foramen magnum will look like a keyhole not a circle, his ventricles may be different, he has a slightly larger head. They are still not impressed with my vast knowledge and ask me instead "how do you spell that?" I want to say " you tell me," but instead spell yet another medical term and think about holding a seminar here.

And mind you his temp that they took under his arm and told me was normal? Yeah not so much. Because everyone carries the ear thermometer in their bag while going to the ER right? I take it and it's 102. I make them come in and do it rectally. Sure enough 102. I totally should be a doctor.

Long story short, everything was fine, including a urine test to check for a UTI. Nothing. Virus. I hate the virus. It seems to never go away. He breaks the fever Sunday night, goes to school only to have them call me on Monday afternoon that his fever is up. The Preston mantra is now "My head, my tummy, my back" when asked what hurts. Off to the pediatrician. Another urine test, a flu test and an ear check. Negative but the left ear looks a tad red. Oh and he was dehydrated- SHOCKER! We start antibiotics. right before the first dose we begin the fun of a stomach virus coming the other way. GREAT! Spends Tuesday with my mother. Poor thing is having "cramps" as he says. Then comes the mysterious red in the bowl which at first my mother and I are convinced is the red Gatorade he has been drinking. I am on the phone with the doctor and this time there appears to be dark red in the bowl. She tells me to go back to the ER!!!!! I leave a note for my mother who went out (to totally buy Preston a toy) and now I know she is going to freak when she gets home. My damn Blackberry is almost out of battery power at this point because after two e-mails the thing dies. On the way I am convinced he has a parasite from the nasty traveling petting zoo that came to school. What else could be causing infectious feces? (Oh I concluded it was infected because I am the pretend doctore here).

We spend three and a half more hours at the ER. For some reason we get in before everyone else-which I am pretty sure has to do with my commercial insurance that they know they can bill each time they have a useless person come in the room. Oh and in this hospital they have a special insurance person that comes in. I told her I just gave all the information on Saturday and nothing had changed. Ready? Here's the answer- "It takes four weeks to show up on the computer." I cannot even answer this. I just hand over the card. Because she is staring at me with an insipid smile. Like that actress on Meet the Parents who plays the stewardess and won't let Ben Stiller on the plane. Maybe I should post this entry in four weeks-it's here I just will not hit ENTER!

We are triaged again and again Preston is asked to put the thermometer under his tongue. I don't even correct them this time. It's more fun watching them struggle. Somehow the temp registers anyway. They make him a bracelet. He won't wear it. He tells them to put it on Mommy. The nurse is fighting with him. I grab the bracelet and slap it on. I tell her Saturday they let me wear it. She starts to go on about policy-meanwhile they still can't spell achondroplasia. I'm totally bringing flashcards next time. This time there was a very fun rectal exam for Preston and a tummy x-ray. So now I am checking to see between the x-rays and the CT if Preston has a glow around him. NOTHING!! Nothing was wrong. I now totally feel like we are on House, minus the Vicodin and the cane. He spent Wednesday with his father (who told me he could not watch him on Tuesday because he was ill). This of course infuriated me because I recall many a times watching Preston when I felt like a sack of crap because it was either take care of him or let him rot in a crib. I digress. No more antibiotic, no more over the counter meds, no more bathroom runs. He was happily back in school today. And told me tonight he needed a banana because "it helped make the diarrhea go away." Can we apply to med school now?

And to top off I got to deal with the Geek Squad yet again from Best Buy. Of course my motherboard went. And then I dealt with Apple and the reciprocity of the ITunes library to other computers, but I seriously cannot even get into that right now. I will have to save it for another time as I have probably bored you to tears. I will leave you with some pics of Preston making cupcakes prior to the Saturday ER visit!

Dear Family and Friends….

I know you mean well.  I understand you see a toy for your first born nephew and think, “a train set, that’s looks great.”  It comes in a big box so that’s bound to elicit a lot of fun just opening it.  And it sat in NYC since Christmas because you cannot bring it on a plane since it is the size of a small island.  Last week due to my fear of getting back on Jet Blue after my “almost crash” (I know dramatic…) I drove back to VA.  So I brought all the very large toys back to Virginia.  Preston had three huge boxes and picked the train set as the first toy to play with.  Of course. 154 pieces.  Great.  Unlike my sister in law Anna, I do not have a degree in engineering which you really need to put this together:

Can I tell you how proud I am that I put this together all by myself (pause to sing the song…I know you want to)…Yes those are circular loops over on the top middle and bridges and tunnels and decals.  This was the end result:

Which I understand is the reaction you were going for, but please think of little ol’ me when buying a toy larger than oneself.  So thank you Uncle Charlie, Aunt Patricia and Cousin Nicole-the gift was a hit.  And I broke a sweat putting it together.  I will gladly accept donations into the college fund though this year….

Kate’s Bridal Shower

 

This past weekend was my sister’s bridal shower.  I think it came out great if I do say so myself.  I flew into NYC on Friday night and it was seriously the scariest flight of my life.  I am not a person who jumps up and down when going on an airplane-I deal o.k. But I will not lie, when the plane touches down I am pretty relieved.  I also hate the saying-your chances of dying in a car accident are greater. Possibly yes, but I still feel that I have a chance of survival in a car accident-I have 0 percent chance when the plane is free falling from 30,000 feet.  The pilot made a sharp turn and everyone on the plane I think turned a sickening shade of white/green.  The thoughts start racing like-great I have not made my will and Preston right now was with his father.  Needless to say, I drove home Sunday back to VA.  I also got to spend Friday night with my friend Kim and we had dinner on the Upper West Side and then went out to a nice wine bar.  It was so much fun to see her again!  Here are some pics of the event!!! Enjoy!

The cake.  I ordered it like 3 weeks ago.  I went to pick it up.  The girl goes in the back, comes out and says, “Are you sure you ordered it under Kim Raab?”  No I ordered it under Jane Smith you moron!  My heart sunk thinking, “We have no cake-yet they charged me the outrageous fee and I already paid my credit card bill!”  They had the cake but for a minute there I almost threw up!

Bridesmaids!

They wrote “Congratulations Kathryn” on the board outside!

Tables-Katie had a beachy theme so those were shells---I did not get them at the beach-Dollar Tree!  And little boxes of Godiva for everyone.  And of course, no Raab function is complete without candy bowls on the table!

The loot!

One of the gifts I got her---(of course let’s make this a little about me… LOL).  There was a matching dish and bowl to for entertaining.

My cousin Caitlin made the hat.  I think she should hire herself out to showers!

Only a few more weeks until the wedding!!!!!