American Idol-the Finale

This may possibly be my last Idol blog ever.  It’s been so much fun.  This Idol recapping gives me a chance to self express and write creatively and what you read is what you get-that’s me.  With Simon leaving the show I am hesitant to throw in the towel and not even give the show a chance (let’s be honest, I’m a nosey bitch, I’ll totally watch), but I cannot promise blogging.  Tonight was quite possibly the best finale of all nine seasons.  I leave you with…my observations of same.

1. The Idols started the night raiding the closets of St. Anthony’s High School, picking out the uniforms, rolling up the skirts (said infraction caused me many a detention) and rocked with Alice Cooper.  Who by the way does not age.  Seriously.  He still sounds the same, looks the same and you have to give a man props who at that age can still apply eye liner that well!

2.  Michael McDonald needs to find his local Pearl Vision and splurge on some new specs…and while we are on specs, the specs worn by one of the Bee Gees (don’t ask me which one) also need to be replaced.  In fact I wish I could find a picture of me circa freshman year (1992-1993) sporting those round glasses along with the following ensemble: orange short sleeved silk shirt, rolled denim shorts and a tie.  Yes.  I was that hot.

3. I really love Hall & Oates.  They occupy significant space on my iTunes catalogue. And you have to hand it to a band that still rocks a synthesizer.  You all recall my obsessions with Casio keyboards and when I see one I get slightly nostalgic and giddy (and still bitter that I got a globe and not a Casio that Christmas).

4.  What the hell was Christina Aguilera wearing?  Even for a teeny tiny girl (seriously she is the size of my thigh), that outfit was not flattering.  Like at all. 

5.  Alanis.  I heart you.  I still don’t understand why you would care that much about Uncle Joey breaking your heart. How “ironic” that after your performance they panned to Lori Loughlin?

6. Kris Allen is really kind of a weenie right?

7.  Carrie Underwood-I heard her lyrics wrong.  I thought the lyric to her new song “Undo It” said something to the effect of I wish my life were the way it was before.  And I chuckled.  (The real lyric is about her life before she met the man she is singing about). Because I am confident Carrie would not undo anything in her life.  Pretty sure rocking that ginormous piece of bling beats the hell out of plucking chickens and dodging cow pies.

8.  Let’s talk about the Ford “surprises.”  I highly doubt after nine seasons Lee and Crystal were “stunned” by Ford’s “generosity” in giving them a Ford Fiesta.  I think some mountain bikes cost more than a Fiesta. The least Ford can do after making the Idols have to perform those lame commercials week in and week out is give them a car out of their middle of the line and not something I could put together on the assembly line.  But the kicker this year was Ford took it upon themselves to magnify the “graphics” Lee and Crystal created for said Fords during one of the lame commercials and putting it one their individual cars.  I am pretty sure if they had an inkling their slapping paint around would wind up on the ENTIRE car, they would have rethought the graphics.  How awful were those cars?  First order of business would be taking that bad boy to the shop and repainting it.  Too bad the Cash for Clunkers program is over.

9.  So of course once I figured out this was a star studded event, as soon as I heard a song start I knew who would be showing up.  When I heard Casey, that fine piece of…oh sorry,  start singing “Every Rose has It’s Thorn”  I turned to my mom like a little kid on Christmas Eve and said, “You think he’s there mom?  Will he show up? Do  you think?  Huh? Huh? Huh?”  And I saw the audience rise….. and by God there he was!  Oh Brett! How I love you. What a great day in Heaven when God created those gorgeous eyes of yours.  What a masterpiece. And I truly hope God continues to watch over him because how awesome is Brett?  This may have been my favorite part of the show hands down.

10.  I laugh that My Space is trying once more to get themselves into the forefront by having Idol auditions streamed through their website.  I was tempted to change my Facebook status to reflect my lack of caring about that.  

11  Chicago.  I recall vividly the Chicago concert I attended with Mel at Jones Beach.  Her parents came too and we made them switch seats so they didn’t sit near us….because recall-in freshman and sophomore year of high school Mel and I were VERY very cool.

12. PANTS ON THE GROUND!  Preston would have KILLED this performance.  But the duet partner was William Hung.  Here’s my question, where in Heaven’s name does 19 Productions go about finding William Hung?  Really?  Oh right….probably Facebook.

13. I love when they pan to the home towns.  I think one year they should have had an Idol correspondent at a football field with like 11 people milling around.  Totally freak out the contestant.  (Why Matt Rogers by the way?  Do you remember this guy-always reminding everyone how he played one season in Division 6 football?)

14.  Paula.  I miss Paula.  I was half hoping she was announcing she would be the Idol judge again.  You know when she came out Kara wanted to kill herself.  Or maybe kill Paula.  But she was the icing on the cake to the Simon tributes tonight.  Which by the way were fantastic.  I will truly miss Simon so much. He’s like a real life Dr. House-just say it.  Who cares about the consequences.  But Simon can get away with it.  Because he is Simon Cowell.  I’m Kim Raab. There is a difference, albeit slight, but a difference nonetheless (LOL).   

15.  Speaking of tributes I LOVED the tribute to Simon with all the Idol contestants, but where was David Cook?  Interesting that he is missing considering that was the finale I missed because Chris and Anna insisted on getting married in Ireland. I mean what was he doing?  He had a better gig?  Couldn’t come and join, I don’t know… 100 of the other contestants and the other seven Idol winners?  I understand he is cooler than say Taylor Hicks who was probably home, but his absence was noted.  Even Archu-loser showed up (minus his dad because he is probably 18 now).  In the past few finales I always had hoped all the Idols would come back.  And they did…except David because he’s cool.

16. Janet rocked.  Although I may have re-thought the pants.  I don’t know what makes one look in the mirror and say, pants with a fishnet slit from ankle to belly button-fabulous. 

17.  I think Joe Cocker was confused and had no idea how it was that he came to be onstage at the Nokia Theatre.  So he just sung his song.  And that song makes me yearn for good sitcoms like “The Wonder Years.”

18.  Our Idol was crowned-Lee!!!!!!  I love Lee.  Even more than Lee I love Lee’s dad.  He is probably the coolest Idol parent ever.  He is so into his son, so unbelievably proud.  And Lee, such a humble amazing guy.  I’m not sure I understand why his single is a U2 song, but whatever.  And just in case the five tons of confetti and the huge LEE WINS jumbo tron was not enough, that would be his formal resignation from the paint store.  He is not giving two weeks notice. Congratulations LEE!  And thank you all for reading!!!