Tuesday, March 11, 2008

American Idol-Week One

OK folks-sorry it's my addiction. I will have to blog about it. Here we go-Season 7's Top 12 took to the new stage and sang out of the McCartney/Lennon Songbook. What an amazing honor. How did the night go-well here is my perspective:

First off let's start off with my Season 7 confession...only a few people are privy to this information. Mom, Katie and Mel. But I have to confess. It would not be right to blog about Idol and not tell you this...I have a major crush on Ryan. I know...I know. How you must say? Here is how I justify it...Ryan is the guy in high school whose locker was next to you.... or the guy at work who you tell all your dirty secrets to and one day you wake up in a night sweat and say "Oh my God...I'm in love with X." That's what happened. After six years of "Seacrest out" and the ridiculous staged banter with Simon, it just happened. Maybe it was his genuine concern for Dick Clark on New Year's Rockin' Eve. Maybe it's the fact that he hosts American Top 40 every Sunday. I can't explain it. It just is. OK now you know, although I have to admit if Dunkelman was still a host, I doubt he would have rubbed off on me the way Ryan has.

Here it was-two hours to kick off the Top 12. Mom and I were discussing that the fact the show is two hours on a school night is just uncool. This is why I also have a beautiful relationship with the DVR. That bad boy makes sure I can rip through all of the commercials, the Fox TV plugs, the annoyance of the come ons for The Moment of Truth and of course tonight-the drivel of Eliot Spitzer soliciting a prostitute and the utter excitement for such awesome gossip news on the faces of Rossanna and Ernie.

And then the show starts and I get really excited and Ryan comes out and does one very annoying thing....introduces the judges. Mom actually pointed this out to me too. I mean do we need to go through them one by one? Does America forget? Even the people who live in areas of this world in a house made out of palms and without running water are aware of the Idol judges. We can cut out this useless three minutes. I mean it literally is the same. "Say 'hi' to Randy Jackson." Then Randy says "Yeah, Yeah, Yeah" and flashes some gang symbols which I am positive he never flashed while playing a mean bass for Journey. Paula swallows the rest of her pain meds and waves over-enthusiastically to the camera and then they shoot to Simon and he scowls, Ryan makes a dumb joke and the night starts.

What really gets me about this show is how much the contestants only care about what Simon has to say. He truly controls the show. Randy and Paula after telling a contestant they are "pitchy" can literally tell that same person that their mother is a back alley whore and the contestant nods and looks towards Simon with absolute dread. It makes me laugh.

Some highlights: Chikeze was pretty good. Usually I am not a fan of the one named artists. His vest was so cool I am hoping it comes in Preston sized.

Carly was very good although I don't understand her tattoo. Is that a tattoo of Amy Winehouse?

David Cook, or as I affectionately have coined him, "Daughtry with hair" was fabulous.

Jason Castro-this guy just cracks me up. I like to believe that this guy tokes before each show. When he came out and sang "What a day for a Daydream," I had a laughing fit. He is completely awesome. If he isn't high, then wow...just wow.

David Hernandez in his story prior to his awful performance said he was fired from the "Pizza Bistro." Is that the code name we are giving all male, all nude strip joints now? My brother lives in Phoenix and went to ASU. Chris your job is to hunt down the Pizza Bistro. I just have a feeling it may not be serving penne alla vodka.

Amanda-why does this girl look twenty years older than she is? And she sings like Marge Simpson's sister with emphysema. I think Mr. Lennon literally rolled over in his grave after this rendition.

Kristy Lee Cook-So happy Simon said she sounded like Dolly Parton on speed. Remember having those radios where you could tape songs and then play them back on the higher speed? That is what it reminded me of. Awful!

And then there was Michael Johns. This guy is so hot. The Australian accent totally does it for me but the fact that he is tennis pro killed it for me. I mean we all know what happened when I married the golf pro. Enough said. He says he has done a lot of odd jobs. What he totally missed the boat with was the open casting call for the replacement Yellow Wiggle. Would have made that show that much more enjoyable for me. I mean I will always miss Greg. I took it hard, but Michael would ease the pain a bit. And he understands kangaroos being from Australia and all....just saying...



So I think Kristy is going to go. We'll see tomorrow at the results show. Kim-Out!

9 comments:

Renay said...

Ugh...let me start by saying I just typed the best follow-up EVER and lost it all due to the sillt comment verification thingy-not cool.

Let me try to recreate perfection-

OK, listen, listen-yo, what's going down dog. Let's keep it real here-that was da bomb. You looked so lovely. And if I'm being completely honest with you, you nailed it!

Apparently, I am (and it seems as if you may ahve a few) your Idol enabler.

I chuckled to myself throughout reading most of your post but you did me in here:

Amanda-why does this girl look twenty years older than she is? And she sings like Marge Simpson's sister with emphysema. I think Mr. Lennon literally rolled over in his grave after this rendition

You know you are dissing on my hometown girl??? it's ok though, b/c I agree and that's probably why I laughed so HARD-my husband is literally annoyed with my snorting;-)

I followed almost everything you said but for the fun of it wanted to say that Ramielle is a goner, and so is nudey boy.

I like David rocker. And I totally am crushing on Archulletta even if he is jail bait and was off this week.

I liked Brooke and in Randy style, Checkezee (sp) was da bomb homey! ANd the Preston vest comment was so funny!

I didn't think so much of Ireland girl though. I did vote for your Michael Johns though-golf pro? You lost me-I bet I had to be there???

What was with Simon's chest hair? And Siasiaesha whatever could go too as I'mnot a fan.

My top picks are:

1) Archulletta
2) Jason
3) tie for David Rocker and Brooke (after tonight)
4) Michael
5) Chickeasy
so sieasha, dolly, ramiella, nudey boy-man who am I forgettin? Oh, Irish girl can go too-sorry:-) Still one missing-hmmm...I don;t know hope it's not someone I'm a fan of.

Anyway, it was nice to go over this with you tonight;-)

Renay-out!

Renay said...

ok, whoopsy-I forgot to edit-sorry about the typos and duh...it was Amanda that I forgot in my who stays, who goes list. Oh well, it wasn't my night-not the greatest, but I hope you did get it;-)

Kim said...

Renay-YOu cracked me up! This will be a fun season with another AI fan! Yay! The golf pro was my ex-husband :-)

Sarah said...

Kim you are so funny! I love reading your post. I'm a AI fan too. I laughed through your whole post! I agree with everything you said! You are so right about Jason, but he's not hard to look at :) Either is Mr. Aussie....the hair could go on Jason- but what a beauitful face! You must be such a fun mom...

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

For the record, I'm stating, that I do not, DO NOT condone Kim's obsession with Ryan Seacrest. The fact that I knew who he was at the age of twelve and hated him then says something. Moving on...

I think The Irish girl (yeah how funny was it that Simon didn't even know her name) was the best last night, followed by my fave (which Steve likes to think is his fave too) David Cook, followed by the Australian, follwed by dad's fave, Brooke. I really only like watching these four. I'm a little upset with this year. They're kinda boring. I like Jason because he's a totally stoner Boulderite but the fact is, he sounds like the lead singer of Hanson. Mmm bop.

And no one can ever replace Greg! I miss him. *tear*

Anonymous said...

Alright... the fact that Katie doesn't agree with your love of Ryan is just upsetting... cuase honestly I like him too!! Like Katie should talk... I mean come on... she loves Clay Gaykin!!!

I love the "Irish girl" she's got an amazing voice and that Kristy chick needs to GO!!!!

Kim, your writing is VERY entertaining... esp when I'm suppose to be writing scripts at work and would rather write back to your blog!!!

xoxo
Maeve

Tonya said...

Okay, so I HAVE NO CLUE who these people are. So I can't comment. I can just say "Um, yeah, you...weerrree, good. (Take another swig of alcohol ladened drink of choice) I am sure....Simon (voice wavy) will say somethin, negati...hurtful.

Is Paula okay?

Anonymous said...

This message is for Maeve (and this message in the parentheses is for Kim: see this is why my BLOG is better than yours because I can directly comment on other people's comments but you cannot do that here.):

I do not condone your obsession with Ryan Seacrest either. And you call yourself a true Talk Soup fan? Don't you remember how much we hated when Ryan sat in for John? I do believe you were in our commercial "We Watch What We Like" for the Burgermobile contest. I have the polaroids of it mind you. Do not make me have to post them on Facebook. So help me God, I will.