American Idol-Week 2

Here we go folks-back by request from Renay, here is my AI update.

First we need to talk about how much nicer it is when Paula shows up sober without the aid of a near overdose of pain medication. Her comments were fluid, we did not compare singers to colors of the rainbow and there were no awkward analogies that make no sense to anyone else except the voices in her head. Simon's piece of advice for the night was to "sing well" which truly means "do not suck" and Kristy Lee Cook promised that if she should stay around (which personally I hope the only one ever hearing her sing again is her horse), she would "blow" Simon "out of his socks." I personally found this amusing, as did Ryan and poor Kristy realized eventually what she said and Miss Innocent Brooke still has no idea what that means....

Moving on, besides the annoying plugs for Paula's single feat. Randy Jackson on bass and Ryan's ridiculous plug for Apple's IPhone, the night was so-so. The "pitchy" count tonight was only at one! Randy seems to have a new line, "I didn't really get it dog." Let's recap shall we?

The night kicked off with Amanda Overmeyer who grew some brass ones in the past week. I have never heard her ever talk back to the judges. She is hoping to sell out that bar in Lafayette. Very high expectations. I personally for one while listening to her sing could not picture myself in Best Buy a year from now hearing the average American consumer say, "I really need that new Amanda Overmeyer CD." I just cannot see this girl selling records. Although to be fair, I don't see her as an elder care nurse either. I totally see her as the nurse hired by a family who has had it with the family's remaining old coot, to slowly put said coot out of their misery with a goose down pillow. I could be wrong...

Kristy sang "Hide your Love Away." The reason I hated it, besides really not liking Kristy, is because it was redone by Eddie Vedder and only someone very big can redo a Beatles song. And besides, I still hold quite a torch for Eddie Vedder and those flannel shirts. The judges thought she looked good. This is always synonymous for "I'd rather have relations with farm animals than hear you sing again." They don't care how they look, they want to be told they can win. I for a split second thought I was being too harsh on her until she said "The Beatles thing is new to me." I mean did your parents' car lack a back seat? How can the Beatles be new to her? Then again she sprays her horses with vinegar.

David Archuleta reminds me of Clay Aiken. I loved Clay and still to this day believe he won, but whatever. David will probably win, unless Chikezie gains a lot of weight and plasters his zip code on a jersey.

Michael Johns did not get any great reviews, but then goes and plays the "I sang it for my dead friend" card and suddenly everyone feels a bit like a douche. Here is the thing with Michael. I should close my eyes, because seriously when I watch him, he can gargle salt water for a minute and a half and I'd be entertained. I also have a Mystery Neighbor on my floor that just moved in. My super told me said neighbor is a single guy. Of course this puts a lot of pressure on me to look half way presentable just in case he comes home when I do, instead of looking like a haggard that has been pleading with a two year old to get in the stroller. So I imagine my Mystery Neighbor (hereinafter affectionately referred to as "MN") to look like Michael Johns. I can assure you he probably doesn't, but it is a fun game I am playing out in my mind....

Brooke-it was hard to take her seriously with the little fake suns all around made out of lights. At one point AI got creative and made one big sun out of lights. The light effects sometimes remind me of an A-Ha video from the 80's gone seriously wrong. She was followed by David Cook who to me is very good but fell a little short tonight.

Carly's husband frightens me. How can you even distinguish emotions on this guy's face since the majority of it is covered in dots and squiggles? It's so bizarre. Although she just got 7s put on her knuckles this week. If I were Ryan I'd ask her what is so attractive about an exorbitant amount of face tats. If I were dating Ryan, I would ask him to ask her. I am neither so I don't have a great possibility of finding out the answer.

If I had one shred of doubt left that Jason is stoned, that shred dissipated tonight. The guy totally makes you wish you were back in college in the dorms with a make shift hollowed out Pepsi bottle bong, a copy of the Wizard of Oz and the Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon album. A stoner with dreads singing in French makes for great TV.

Syesha other than having a knockout dress, was a little boring and Chikezie and Ramiele were also ok. The show was alright and I still predict Kristy is going home. I am going to keep predicting it until it happens, so Renay back me up here! Until next week....