American Idol-the Top FIVE

Nothing like Idol night on your birthday! Tonight Randy once again reminded us of the theme-Who is in it to win it?  And told America we must ask that question.  I thought I answered this for Randy a few weeks back, but I’ll repeat myself just in case he didn’t read my blog-pretty much the five people on the stage want to win it.  No one is voluntarily putting themselves on the holding stools for the bottom two tomorrow night.  We had Steven wearing a flower on his jacket that Jennifer also wore in her hair.  Speaking of Jennifer, that shirt reminded me of Seinfeld’s puffy shirt.  I was driving my mother crazy because I said, “But I don’t want to be a pirate” enough times tonight to make it un-funny. Sheryl Crow was the celeb helped tonight.  And who know she sang back up with MJ? 

1. James-Came out to sing “Closer to the Edge” dressed as if he was time warped into a Warrant video, but with Ryan Seacrest’s hairdo.  As he was singing he gave Steven a high five.  The significance of that really hit home to me.  He gave Steven Tyler a high five! He probably recalled watching the “Sweet Emotion” video over and over on MTV as a kid and now slapped hands with Steven.  Pretty awesome.

2. Jacob-Jacob was so bad that while he was screeching and gyrating to a fog machine in a jacket five sizes too small, I started compiling a list of things I prefer to be doing rather than listening to Jacob sing: sticking bamboo shoots in my eye (or in the alternative, under my fingernails); riding the E train with no air conditioning; going to Michael’s for ribbon or smelling the aroma of a petting zoo in mid August.  And then the judges praised him.  Which again makes me think I’m either crazy or tone deaf.  Please someone agree with me!

3. Lauren-Did you catch J-Lo’s face when Lauren was singing?  She looked like she was sucking a lemon.  Or maybe the realization that she’s People’s Most Beautiful Woman and married to Marc Anthony.  In any even they loved Lauren too. They really also have to stop dressing Lauren in skin tight clothes from head to toe.  The only other people that dress in skin tight everything are found on on the People of Walmart.com website.

4. Scotty-Obviously the fashion people refuse to stop putting Scotty in dual denim.  They listen to me pretty much the equivalent of Preston listing to me.  How many Facebook requests do you think Scotty gets weekly?  I’m just curious.  They loved him.  Randy called him ‘Concert Scotty’ and declared that Scotty was, indeed, in it to win it.

5. Haley-Sang a Lady Gaga song that has not yet been released. Randy and Jennifer not only ripped Haley but ripped Gaga’s song.  I’m pretty sure Lady G was at home thinking, “whatever Jenny from the block-you may not like my song but you can’t rock a dress made out of meat and while we are on the subject, “Jenny From the Block” was a horrendous song.” So there.

6. James Part Duex-James sang, “Without You” which is on my sister and my OMG CD.  The OMG CD was made after watching The Wedding Singer and the Boy George look alike starts crying during the wedding and says…well…OMG.  So we compiled a list of songs so heart wrenching as to make one say, OMG.  Others include Sheena Easton’s “Almost Over You” and “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?” by Culture Club.  Anyway, James singing in his toned down voice makes me really like him.  I’ve always liked him as a person, not a singer, but this performance makes me like him as a singer too.

7. Jacob-Also sang a song off OMG, with Nazareth’s “Love Hurts.”  It was hurting me to listen so I continued compiling the list: talking to Fios customer service; talking to Direct TV customer service; sitting in rush hour on the LIE…on a Friday…in the summer and finally listening to Joe Buck commentate a Yankees play off game.  Yes, he’s that bad.

8. Lauren-I finally listened long enough to Ryan to hear that the Idols were singing songs this round from their parent’s era.  I half expected Lauren to sing “The Thong Song” since I’m pretty sure her parents are 19 years old.  But alas, “Unchained Melody.”  I’m positive they were not growing up when that song came out. In any event it was a snoozefest for me. Sorry Lauren in your prom dress gone hideously wrong.

9. Scotty-During Scotty’s performance, the 256 females from his high school sent 792 tweets respectively regarding same. 

10.  Haley-won the award for “slaying” it tonight.  She was unreal on “House of the Rising Sun.”  Singing the first part acapella was such a great idea.  She was amazing.  She deserved the standing O!

I think we all know my pick to go home.