Top 6 Perform on American Idol

Top Six perform. I cannot comment on any of the duets because the National Weather Service reminded me over five times during Idol that there is a tornado warning. There has been major warnings all week. It's getting a bit much for me. I will let you in on a secret-those that don't know me well. I am terrified of the end of the world. You heard correctly. Me, big bad Kim, nothing can knock me down-Kim. After I saw 2012 I couldn't sleep. I don't want to perish in a tsunami. I worry because I won't survive the end of the world. I won't be the one remaining after it's all over. I won't be able to drive a limo like John Cusack to escape a crumbling California. My brother Charlie informed me if there are people building ark ships in anticipation of the end, I would not be one of the people privileged enough to get on. Thanks Charlie. So tonight while trying to take notes and while attempting to me funny I'm thinking if I should get Preston and I off the third floor and onto the first...or move back to New York. Pretty sure there were no tornadoes touching down in Manhattan. And these aren't little windy semi-tornatic storms. Oh no. These are full fledged Wizard of freaking Oz tornadoes.

Tonight was Carole King night, or bad fashion night. Speaking of Wizard of Oz, Steven didn't disappoint in channeling his inner tin man. Randy is still stuck in a quartet R&B group from 1993 and Jennifer looked as if they forgot to apply any more make up after foundation (and still managed to look better than 95% of the female population). Let's get to it, shall we?

1. Jacob-He may have sang tonight. I don't know if he did because I could not wrap my mind around the fact that he voluntarily donned the outfit he was wearing. First his jacket looked like an outfit Preston wore at 9 months old. (Seriously-check the blog a few posts back). Then with the blue vest, yellow shirt and purple tie, it was as if the Wiggles got into a fight and these were the clothes leftover. Steven told him that tonight he shook his tailfeathers. Don't worry Steven-there was no way we could not notice the tail feathers when Jacob was wearing straight legged-skinny jeans with Timberlands..because there is the footwear to match the wretched ensemble. This must have been the same person who not only dressed Randy and Steven, but Jacob's family member that looked as if her dress was made from a nursing home shower curtain.


2. Lauren-My comments for Lauren have to do with her hair. He hair the past two weeks when curly has closely resembled my senior prom hair do, tight spiral curls. I wonder if she too has 953 bobby pins holding it up as well as help from a can of Paul Mitchell hair spray. The hair slick straight tonight during her performance made me yearn for the days like five weeks ago before humidity when my hair stayed straight. This humid weather that has creeped in is even rendering my iron useless against the moisture laden hair killing weather. I love the heat, but I hate the humidity. I have a retirement community picked out in Scottsdale already. Anyway, Lauren picked some random guy up in the audience. Interesting...Also Miley Cyrus, her Idol apparently came to give advice. After all a Disney show actress with a teeny bopper career gives one entitlement to give music advice on Carole King night. I'm also going to share a personal story. Lauren's boots reminded me of my first pair of boots. When I was in 4th grade I remember wanting cowboy boots so bad. My mother thought the ones I wanted were too "old" for me. I begged and pleaded. Christmas morning, there was a big yellow Thom McCann box and inside were shiny bright blue (yes blue) boots with studs and silver scales. I wore them with everything (including the hot pink striped jogging suit I also received that Christmas). That summer, wouldn't you know, Thom McCann sold blue studded sandals with silver scales. To this day, Mel has not let me live my blue boot wearing down. What she doesn't know is I'm looking for a pair to wear with my maid of honor gown at her wedding.


3. Scotty- Prior to Scotty, I caught ten seconds of the Haley/Casey duet before the NWS cut in. Enough time to hear them grunt and growl at each other. Scotty again committed fashion disaster with the dual denim. At least I thought it was, until the lights came on and I realized it was just a shiny blue blazer. Not really sure what's worse. Scotty I still think has this thing in the bag. Got to love Randy's quote of the night, "Scotty is in it to WIN IT!" Well yes....that is the point of this show.


4. James-If James sang like this the whole season, I may have liked him more. I may have thought he'd beat out Scotty (and he may if he sings like this). Toning it down made me realize James has a nice voice. It was nice to hear him sing instead of turning every performance into a Rent meets Ringling Brothers event.


5. Casey-Lauren had a random guy on stage, Steven was holding a random child during the performance. Casey and his dollar store straw fedora were terrible. Seriously I don't get the fascination. Is it singing? Is it a bad Blues Brothers spoof? What is this? Casey and his maniacal faces! If I was to see Casey in a park let's say, I would hold Preston's hand and kind of detour my child around the strange and disturbed man..much like I do when we see un-picked up dog poo on the sidewalk. Avoidance. Casey scares me. Not as much as being swallowed up by the Earth, but close.


6. Haley-bored me. The song was upbeat but she bored me. She sang it well but she bored me. This saddens me because I like her, but I just find myself tuning her out, checking Facebook status updates on my phone and BlackBerry messaging my father that a tornado is going to rip through my neighborhood and this could be the end and I won't know who wins Idol. (And just in case you're wondering, I know my dad gets my message because a little "R" appears. But then he either ignores me or feeds into my fears saying things like, "Well you'd better hope the shopping plaza a block away stands or else you have no protection." So. Not. Funny. Pere).

So I think Jacob will go home. Because if he doesn't, I'm not going to predict it anymore. Maybe he'll be the Idol. And then that would be an Idol Apocalypse.