American Idol-Week 4

The night started out with an April Fool's joke. I used to love April Fools. Every single year I used to "get" my dad. He would totally fall for all my shenanigans; I wrecked my car, I was getting kicked out of school (which was disheartening that he believed this-I was the least likely out of the four kids to get expelled),etc. Now he like marks the day. I swear he has it circled weeks in advance so I cannot get him anymore. Completely annoying...April Fool's Dad.

The Idols sung Dolly Parton songs. Dolly is so cute I want to bottle her up or put her in a cage and take her home. She has penned over 3000 songs! That is more songs than my IPod can hold!

Simon was in a really bad mood. I think he only liked David Archuleta. He may have liked Michael, but my DVR cut off to record DWTS results, so I never heard his comments. We started the night off with Brooke. She is really pure and angelic-I mean her last name is even White. It's almost a little too much to take at times. I just want to see her in UsWeekly with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth, hair askew and forgone undergarments. There has to be a skeleton in her closet somewhere...come on!

David Cook cracked me up. I just could not take him seriously using that throaty laden rocker voice to sing about a SPARROW! Sparrows are so little with those toothpick legs that can just break if they hop too hard. He should reconsider singing about birds. Maybe next week he can sing "The Rose" (and double bonus points if he does Happy Hands from Napoleon Dynamite).

Ramiele was pretty good. I think the problem here is she has a great voice she just does not project onstage. Dolly said the best line tonight in describing Ramiele and I think it quite appropriate for most of our kiddos..."Fact that she's little ain't gonna stop her from doing big things." Perfect saying. I love it! I felt bad for Ramiele. She could not wait for Fox to break to a Ford Focus commercial to run offstage and bawl her eyes out. Poor thing. Jason I thought was good and I don't think he was stoned this week.

Before Carly was even done singing, I said to myself (self and I have lots of conversations by the way), "Wow Carly seriously wears the same top every week!" Then Simon bashed her wardrobe. How Queer Eye for Simon. The red sweats with the funky black Renaissance top were not working together.

ARGH on Kristy Lee totally getting through this week again....country is the girl's thing and she pulled it out. I almost, almost was going to admit she did well until she was obnoxious to Simon and then I hated her all over again.

Syesha (my pick to go home this week) sang "I Will Always Love You." When I heard she was singing that I immediately thought Buh-Bye Syesha. Get the montage of your Idol journey rolling. First off, I love this song. I loved "The Bodyguard." I loved everything about this song. It came out when I was in ninth grade. After all in ninth grade I had some "serious life altering" events in my life...a boyfriend named Frankie that the following year would ask my so called best friend to the Homecoming behind my back, I had lockers to decorate for birthdays, love song mix tapes to make to cry to over Frankie not calling at exactly 9:00 p.m., a cute senior I asked to the Cotillion during a "break" with Frankie...People I HAD PROBLEMS! Apparently these problems were so great that by the time my Sweet Sixteen candle lighting ceremony rolled around at the end of tenth grade, you can count on both fingers and toes how many times I said "Thank you for being there. You have been there through those dark times...and I totally love you." (No really I said that. I don't speak to half the people I supposedly loved through those times). I look back now and wish to God to go back to the dark times...you know when my parents paid for the cell phone I use, the car I drove, the TV I watched,the electricity I used,the groceries my fat butt eats and when I got a $200 refund check from the government for being a camp counselor over the summer life was good because I could buy a new CD, not pay a bill. Don't we all miss the dark times? So songs like "I Will Always Love You" got me through those dark times.

But when will the Idol hopefuls learn? You can maybe eek by a Celine song, if you are good, but you can never attempt Christina, Mariah or Ms. Houston. Just don't do it. They have never liked a version of these songs sung by anyone other than Christina, Mariah and Whitney. I totally agreed with Simon-when Whitney takes the pregnant pause and then belts "AND I...." it's poignant. It's moving. It's Whitney. It just is.

The night ended with eye candy, I mean Michael, who just gives me one minute and thirty seconds of pure elation. I have decided my next husband has to have an accent. My sister in law is English and I just love hearing her speak.

So as I said we will be celebrating Syesha home tomorrow night. Yeah about that. Ruben re-did that song and it usually is only pulled out of archives around Christmas time. Katie always thinks of Preston coming home from the hospital when she hears that song which makes me cry.

Next week is Idols Gives Back and I assume again in the spirit of Idol giving back, no one will go home, meaning I have Kristy Lee for another two weeks. Kim-Out.