American Idol-Week 7

Shania Twain night. I have to admit I did not even know half of the songs picked. This must have been an extremely hard night for Kara who could not remind the world how she wrote "conveniently" 3/4 of the songs sung on the show. Not tonight loser Kara!
I had some issues tonight with Randy's choice of cardigan. I am a big fan of the cardigan. I've expressed this sentiment, but tonight I swear Randy's sweater looked like something worn by a NYC cab driver. A sweater like that can only be purchased in some shady store off West 34th Street behind Penn Station that does not even have a sign other than yellow Xeroxed pieces of paper in the window advertising Men's Suit 2 for $50. (A NY'er will totally understand this). These are the same stores that are gone within a week only to be replaced by a store that sells luggage, cameras and Statute of Liberty snow globes. Second, I am now starting to get slightly perturbed with that beaded necklace he wears. It looks like a lanyard you would see holding glasses around a geriatric patient's neck at a nursing home. It could have been a gift from his kid which could be the only logical explanation for wearing such a God awful necklace. Speaking of God awful ostentatious necklaces, Kara obviously raided Evander Holyfield's closet and stole his championship belt and decided to don it around her neck. I also noticed tonight was the first time I believe I saw a wedding ring on her finger. I guess she feels wearing 14 carats of bling around her left ring finger will show the world that she really isn't a dog in heat around Simon.

Lee- started the show tonight and did a fabulous job with "Still the One." I believe he is still the one to beat in the competition. He has a great voice and I truly don't have anything else to say because, well you guys all know he is my favorite and I'm not changing my mind.

Big Mike- Getting a little tired of Big Mike. He's not Aaron Neville. He's not Luther Vandross. Now I will admit, I am not the biggest R&B fan. I kind of find that music a little boring, but I appreciate it and I am sorry but I don't equate him with the likes of Luther and Aaron. (And on a side note, Katie does a bitchin' impression of Aaron Neville. I really need to YouTube it because it is hysterical. She'll be visiting soon and I am going to make her do it)! I also hate when the singers sit on the stairs. As I think I said last season, when I see those stairs, I see Frankie Avalon in Grease singing "Beauty School Drop Out." This song also had Shania crying-I'm hoping like me she was crying out of sheer boredom.

Casey-Oh Casey James. How I envy your hair. Casey has the hair I so desperately want. He has the color I pay top dollar for...every seven weeks. He has the curl to his hair that I long for on humid summer days when I don't want to blow dry; but alas, if left to an air dry, my hair resembles a matted golden retriever. I think that Casey would make a very successful country star-these days you need to be hot and sing decent-he fits the bill.

Crystal-When Ryan was first talking to Shania at the beginning of the show, I commented to my mother how her teeth have definitely been redone. Most celebs and Hollywood peeps have had caps put on their teeth. Because let's be honest, no one has perfectly white, perfectly even sized teeth. I found it ironic that Ryan mentioned Shania's gorgeous teeth when Crystal may not have a full set. Crystal did not bring her A game tonight, despite lugging her "magic" carpet and wearing a peacock from her ear lobe. It's also time to mention that Kara this season has repeatedly said to a contestant, "I agree with the guys." Not, "these guys" which could encompass acceptably the male and female, that is Randy and Ellen. No, she classifies Ellen as a guy. One day I would like Portia DeRossi to knock Kara out. Tonight would have been a good night for that because after she knocked out Kara, she could have stolen the necklace and hoisted it above her head.

Aaron-Here is what is annoying me about Aaron-he's not annoying me. Normally every young teeny bopper singer drives me batty, David Archa-loser, the Kevin guy that they called Chicken Little, Little Bow Wow, Hansen, Kris Kross, ABC, pretty much every singer where if they hit puberty it's questionable. But Aaron doesn't bother me. I like him. And I think it is the maturity. And when he said he sang it for his mother (while stupid Kara was insulting his lack of love life), I almost teared up too. Rock on Aaron...rock the hell on.

Siobhan-I think she has run her course with me. My mother is right, she has not achieved star power to be walking around the audience. And furthermore my mother and I are trying to figure out if her tattoo is of Mary Poppins and if so, why? I think her wanting to be the female Adam Lambert has gone too far and now she is just plain annoying.
On that "note" my pick to go home is Siobhan.

Long Time No Pictures

I am using this post just to catch up in pictures! I have taken a big hiatus in posting new pics of the dude! Let’s start with a cute picture of the dude getting ready to hit the road to school!

It’s really time to upgrade Pres to a booster seat, but I am so nervous to do so. It is starting to become a pain buckling him in the car seat and he makes the torso height requirement….maybe this summer.

Here’s my little man and I:

And we cannot forget the Opening Day pictures! This year it’s extra special since Preston posed in actual Yankee Stadium seats. My parents bought seats from both Yankee and Shea Stadiums after they were torn down. He also has a new monkey! I have to thank Dennis (he loves Preston) for the World Series monkey and sweatshirt!

On Opening Day for Yankee Stadium, Pres wore his subway shirt from Grandma. The 4 train takes you to Yankee Stadium.

And just to show how much Preston has grown in one year-here he is Opening Day last year:

Preston also had pajama day last week at the school. He also won the basket of goodies in the summer camp raffle. This is the second time Pres has won the basket of goodies in a raffle. I need him to start playing Mega Millions!

To wrap up last weekend, we celebrated Grandma’s birthday! Preston helped bake a great cake for her! It was a really nice dad. Happy Birthday to my wonderful Mommy!!!!

Have a great week everyone!!!!

American Idol-Week 6

Tonight's theme was inspirational songs with Alicia Keys as the guest mentor. I just want to go on record saying that her new song, "Try Sleeping with a Broken Heart" is my new iPod song of the moment. That means if you check my iTunes playlist it's probably nearing fifty times played. Yet for some ridiculous reason the shuffle still does not pick it up as my favorite, but invariably picks "Turning Japanese" every single time I hit the shuffle option. (I'll pause here as I am sure you are baffled as to why the hell a person would even put "Turning Japanese" on their iPod willingly).

We started the night with Casey singing "Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow" I cannot listen to this song without seeing Bill Clinton playing the sax on late night television. This was the campaign theme song. And though I hate getting political (especially in Idol blogs for the love of everything holy) and even being a registered Republican, I loved Bill. Unfortunately for Bill, he did not think much about tomorrow during his "escapades." As far as Casey is concerned, when they panned the audience for a split second who thought the sign read "Casey sucks" not "Casey Rocks?" This also started the night of "Let's try to Figure Out What the Judges are Thinking?" Some of the fave lines utilized by the judges are, "I don't know who you are. I'm not sure who you are trying to be. You need to decide what type of singer you are." I mean that is pretty much beat over the contestants' heads weekly. Now tonight we have great advice coming from the panel, "We know who you are we would love to see something different from you. I get who you are as a singer but you need to break out?" WTF? I mean if I were Casey next week I'd lose the guitar come out with a banjo and sing "Cotton Eyed Joe."

Lee-"The Boxer" LOVE this song. LOVE Simon & Garfunkel. We also found out that he has talked to Andrew and thankfully Andrew has not fallen victim of any random drive bys. My mother has decided Lee looks like my brother in law. Last season she thought Danny Gokey looked like my brother in law. I think my mom just wants my brother in law to be a contestant on Idol. She actually said tonight that should Steve make Idol she would vote a lot and if he won he could take care of her. So no pressure Steve, but let's get cracking before you miss the age cut off. Lee sang this song awesome. I have issues with the hand wavers in the front Idol mosh pit. It's bad enough seeing chicks waving their hands, but if you are a guy that does the same you should be immediately castrated.

After the commercial break, Ryan introduced Captain "Sully." My mother turns to me and says, 'That's the seat they gave Sully?" Then we really laughed. It was like way up in the mezzanine. Let's just think about this. This man landed an A320 Airbus with 155 people on board safely into the Hudson River. The Hudson River. It's not really that wide. You can swim across it if you are in reasonably good shape. He not only saved 155 people, but a potential catastrophe. Basically he did this:

and got the tee shirt that said, "I landed a ginormous aircraft into a river and all I got was a lousy Idol seat and a handshake from Seacrest." I mean the guy kind of rates for a better seat, on inspirational night of all nights!

Tim- "Better Days" (Goo Goo Dolls)-As Emily so aptly put it, "I hope someday Tim's hair finds better days." What is with the side sweep? I am also starting to laugh how Tim smiles regardless of what they say to him. They can tell him he sleeps with farm animals and he would smile. It's getting comical.

Aaron-"I Believe I Can Fly"-Oh Aaron. He's so cute in that annoying Justin Beiber-ish way that I cannot even comprehend because I usually don't listen to music sung by teenagers. I personally feel he should go sing on one of those Nickelodeon Glee-esque shows they have. I just cannot take him seriously as an American Idol.

Siobhan- "When You Believe"Siobhan broke the cardinal rule of Idol. Singing a song by....WHITNEY. Never mind that Whitney can no longer sing due to becoming a crack whore. The judges hate when someone sings Whitney. Meanwhile, I thought she did really amazing, but apparently the judges and I hear different things when we watch the show.

Big Mike-"Hero" (Nickelback)-I just have to say it "That's enough Nickelback." (If you don't get that reference I must forward you the funniest e-mail ever sent to me). Big Mike's head, especially in that hat, looks too small for his body. He literally looked like Michael Keaton in Beetlejuice after his head is shrunken down:

And that might be a bit much, but he is just so jacked, everything next to his biceps looks small. I also think it funny when Simon insults Big Mike. You think he sits there thinking, "Dude I can bench press you?"

Crystal-"People Get Ready"-I think Vegas is right with the odds of the finale being Lee and Crystal. She was just downright amazing. And I got a little choked up too that she got emotional seeing her dad in the audience.

Going home-no one. In the spirit of Idol Gives Back tomorrow, I predict it will be two people going home next week instead.

American Idol Week 5

I am on such a Glee high right now (best show on television) and I have to get up at the rear end crack of dawn, but here goes!

Elvis night. I am not the biggest Elvis fan of all time, partly because of the Elvis fans that still believe Elvis is alive. That irks me to no end. If he were alive he would not still fit into his white catsuit (that inspired Bedazzler informercials worldwide) and performing on the Strip. HE'S DEAD! LET THE MAN REST FOR PETE'S SAKE!

Adam Lambert was the mentor. Now, you all know I was not the Adam Lambert fan last year, but since Idol I have gone back, in all fairness to Adam and watched many of his performances on YouTube and I stand corrected. The guy was good. He was a performer. And what a kick in the gonads to Kris Allen (and every other Idol winner for that manner). Adam was the one and only Idol contestant invited back as a mentor. Maybe if Kris Allen's song didn't suck so bad...The other thing I liked about Adam was his honesty. He did not sugar coat his advice to the contestants like every single other celeb and mentor has done every season. He was real with them-if he didn't like the performance he would say so. It was a breath of fresh air from the typical, "The have real star potential, they have a great voice." Yada Yada Yada.

Crystal- "Saved" Crystal has a great voice, but I cannot deal still with those dreads. Even more so because my hairdresser told me this weekend how the salon once "cracked open" ( yes cracked open) a dread and she would not even elaborate on what was inside. It's OK, I vomited a little in my mouth as well. And who dresses the contestants? Some people are not meant to wear skin tight clothes. Just saying. I love that Randy still uses the word "dope." It makes me think Randy still has a car equipped with a tape deck to listen to his Kid n' Play albums on the way to the show.
Andrew-"Hound Dog" Ok so I liked his performance. The judges on the other hand hated it. It was here that I was once again reminded why Kara DiaGuardi would be best served off this show and making me hope the show tanks after Simon leaves so she has one less source of income. Her brilliant comment was, "You have to own it. Elvis owned the stage." Right, because Elvis....was...the...king. This is Andrew Garcia. He's not going to own the stage like Elvis would. No more than Mick Jagger can, because Elvis was Elvis, Mick is Mick, Mariah is Mariah. But he tried and he did a good job. The other word Kara needs to ban from her vocab is "swagger." Unless you are rapping on a T.I. joint, you have no business using this word in critiques. And wait, one more "singer/songwriter." UGH. It's her favorite expression. And every time she says it I sit on my hands because I want to impale myself with the writing utensil I use to take notes. Maybe when Andrew gets kicked off he can sing "Straight Up"...acoustically.
Tim "Can't Help Falling In Love." I am just going to pretend Ryan did not call him "TUrban." I wonder how long Ryan thought that one up- maybe during his radio show, or TV show, or red carpet appearance, or as Dick Clark's long lost son-whatever it was it was bad. Tim on the other hand has gone from train wreck to smooth sailing (Kate Gosslein, for the record, is still God awful on DWTS).
Lee- "Little Less Conversation" How good is Lee? I just love Lee so much. Enough said. He's my fave.
Aaron- "Blue Suede Shoes" I want to buy Aaron a teddy bear after each performance. He is just so darn lovable. Even in his dad's borrowed Members Only jacket tonight. I have to say I love how Simon says "frustrating." It's frus-TRATE-ing. I need to ask Chris if Anna says it this way. I have never noticed if my sister in law says it that way, but I think i am going to start using the Brit version in my everyday life. It will go great with my New York accent.
Siobhan- "Suspicious Minds" I thought she did amazing. Despite her 80 year old woman wash n' style hair. You know the style. It's when you get to the point in your life where you go to the beauty salon (that's what you call it when you are elderly) and have your hair washed and set and it stays like that for five days until you return. And at night you sleep in a hair net. It will happen one day. And then I will enter a home and Mel proves her friendship and smothers me with a pillow. I love that Siobhan stood up to the judges. Because listening to the four of them sometimes is like listening to someone with severe schizophrenia, "You blew it out the box, you are like a banana, you are a singer/songwriter, you are the one to beat to dude it's just not working for me, i loved the scream, now not so much, I don't know who you are as a person and you sound like you are singing at a wedding on a cruise ship on a karaoke machine in the lounge." AHHHHH! So you go Siobhan!

It was this point in the show Ryan reminded us that next week is Idol Gives Back. He told us that Brian Dunkleman would host as well. He was kidding. I would not have done this had I been Ryan. I have always pictured Dunkleman as Steve Buscemi in Billy Madison with a list on his wall, with Ryan Seacrest at the very top. Dunkleman is polishing his rifle.

Big Mike "In the Ghetto" Big Mike was saved last week-which was ridiculous really. I mean he will probably be gone this week along with Andrew. The Judge Save is ridiculous in and of itself. This is because Daughtry was kicked off the show. Meanwhile it was a life changer for him. Now the Judge's Save has ensured that getting kicked off will not make you as profitable to them as keeping you on. Anyway, just want you all to know, Mike does not live in the ghetto. Astoria Queens is not the ghetto. Go check the rental prices there on a 750 square foot apartment.
Katie- "Baby Whatcha Want from Me?" Which is very similar in title to Adam's "Whadaya Want from Me?" She has a really strong voice for a 17 year old, but I cannot picture her as the Idol.
Casey "Lordy, Ms. Claudy"This is a song I have never heard. I am not even sure I have the title correct and I am too tired to Google it. Anyway, despite his Joe Biden insipid smile, Casey was really good. There is an advantage to dating someone like Casey. You'd have double ponytail holders, because I don't know about you guys, but those suckers disappear. I can buy them by the 50 pack and they are all gone at the end of the month.

Anyway my picks to go home are Big Mike and Andrew.

Easter and Spring

Our Easter weekend was very nice.  It is definitely finally spring here in Virginia.  Although it was extremely warm this past week.  Normal temps in April are not in the 90’s, but I am not complaining after that dreadful winter we had.  Last Saturday Preston got ready for the Easter bunny by dying his eggs!  I have to say, I love how Paas has taken Christ out of Easter (and that is sarcasm).  I recall as a child literally fighting with my siblings on who gets to put the cross sticker on their egg.  Now the stickers are soccer balls and bikes.  Because that truly brings out the spirit of the resurrection.  The other thing they no longer include is the wax crayon.  How do you write names on the eggs? And there are only six tablets of colors when I swear they used to give you eight.  They still give you the metal spoon. What the hell is that thing anyway?  A jumbo egg does not balance on it, yet four of us fought over that too. Who wanted to us a spoon when you can use a copper octagonal piece of shat? (Come to think of it, doesn’t it sound so pleasant to have dyed eggs with the four Raab siblings)?   Paas truly sucks.  And you have no other options. Paas definitely has the monopoly on egg dying tablets.  This is also the only time of year I am convinced that white vinegar is sold.

Saturday night one of my dearest friends from high school, Dennis and his father were driving through Virginia from Florida on their way back to New York.  It was so great to have them over for a nice homemade lasagna dinner.  Dennis brought Preston a huge Easter basket (football shaped) with animals and hacky sack sports balls inside.  Props to Dennis for even buying grass! (And by grass I mean that green stringy stuff).

Easter morning! As you can see the Easter Bunny was very generous to Preston and so were Grandma and Pa-Pa Easter Bunny.  He had a lot of fun finding his eggs too!

Preston was not feeling 100% by day’s end but we managed to get over to a neighbor’s house for dessert.  Here is a cute pic of Pres and Grandma.

And proof that Spring is here!

Finally how cool is this?  Every time my mother heads up to their apartment in NYC, Preston asks for a subway car.  Well of course Grandma has found the MTA subway replica cars (which by the way are wooden and conveniently the same size as the Thomas engines).  So of course Grandma has bought all the lines she can and will be petitioning the MTA to manufacture every subway line ever, including the old red 7 trains.  Here is Preston today with his latest package!

American Idol-Week 4

So I am not in the greatest of moods tonight and thought about skipping the blog altogether, so if this is not that funny, I apologize in advance. Paul McCartney and John Lennon night. I loved that Sir Paul did a little camera promo and stated, "Hi I'm Paul McCartney." Thanks. Just in case you were living in solitary confinement since the 1960's. If Preston was on Idol tonight (assuming he made the Top 9, which for Preston's voice as I have stated previously, is a LONG shot), he would have sang "Yellow Submarine." Let's talk a bit about the judges quick tonight. Randy-totally digging Randy's cardigans. Since cardigans over long tank tops is pretty much my wardrobe, mad props to my main man Randy. Preston has the shirt Ellen was wearing-swear to God-he wore it in Boston to the news studio. Go check past blog posts. Kara's hair looked awful; it was the equivalent of my hair after a session on the elliptical machine-pieces sticking out, haphazard ponytail. But then again, just in case you have been in solitary confinement since...OK, last year's Idol blog, you know I am not a big Kara fan. If she was a suggestion on Facebook to "become a fan of" I would not be joining.

Aaron- "The Long and Winding Road"-Ellen stole my joke. I swear I wrote, the long and never ending song. And to prove it, and because Tiffany loves that I take notes:

I have to say although his chances of winning are nil, he does have that Archa-loser factor going for him and his name, Aaron Kelly totally works as a Tiger Beat or Bop magazine candidate. And did I just date myself? Is Tiger Beat still in publication?

Katie- "Let it Be" Katie is getting solicited for prom because of her appearance on Idol. But for the fact I have surpassed the Idol age limit by almost four years, I would use that as the dating strategy. Just go on Idol. (And yes I understand I have missed the whole point that you actually have to know how to sing and even Tim sucking is better than me at my best, but whatever). I have to say she sang this song beautifully. Really angelic and for the first time since Hollywood Week, I thought she did a great job!

Andrew (not Alex)-"Can't Buy Me Love" My brother pointed out I called Andrew, Alex. Whoops. I love this song. Remember McDreamy in this movie? Didn't the girl he loved spill red wine on a white velvet catsuit? Loved this movie. Never thought he would one day make my "List." Anyway, my mother thought Andrew looked like Buddy Holly....if Buddy Holly had gotten a neck tat. I thought his arrangement was pretty good. The judges thought it was "interesting." (* read not an acoustic version of "Straight Up").

OMG Glee comes back in ONE WEEK!

Big Mike-"Eleanor Rigby" So we all learned that Big Mike and his brothers were like a faux Jackson 5, if the Jackson 5, were only four kids instead. I thought his performance was o.k. nothing Earth shattering. And why was Eleanor Rigby the song that his faux J5 family singing? Why Eleanor Rigby? It's such a random song to begin with. Someone find that out the next time they talk to Big Mike OK? My peeps in NY-when he gets back to Astoria, go find out.

Crystal- "Come Together" This would have sounded even better if my television did not pick her performance to start sounding like a skipping record. Our Fox feed went out and we heard about every fifth word. What I did hear was fabulous.

Tim-"All My Lovin'" I love that Tim said he was trying something different with his hair. I am pretty, pretty, pretty (said like Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm) sure that there are persons that are doing Tim's hair. He was better than last week, and the week before that, but that is not saying much at all. I am trying to figure out who the biggest reality train wreck is right now, Tim or Kate Gosslein on Dancing with the Stars? I welcome input.

Casey- OK I can't recall what song he sung because I was stunned by his perm. Seriously the hair tonight was no different from my first (dreadful) perm at age 12. I will not post a picture and I ask Mel to kindly refrain from posting one of that "dark" time in my hair life as well. He did sing really well though, but I did not think it was the best of the night.

Siobhan- "Across the Universe" I thought she was amazing. I also was loving that super glossy lip stick look she had going on that I desperately try to achieve and have bought many a similar product, but cannot seem to get the same look. Perhaps I need to do it and then have strobe lights follow me around. So then they invite onstage, Earl, the heckler. Now, I seriously doubt Siobhan would have hugged some random, possibly, very crazed fan so I think the heckler was a "Fox Plant" to generate some filler for the two hour show tonight that could have been done in 45 minutes.

Lee- "Hey Jude" So they didn't like the bagpiper. I actually started to feel bad for the bagpiper. They were really harsh on him and his kilt. I thought he was pretty damn cool and totally LOVE LEE so I dug the bagpiper. So much so that if Facebook suggested I Become a Fan of the bagpiper, I would accept.

Pick to Go Home: Tim.

Our Weekend with Cousin Caitlin

We have had a lot of visitors these past few weekends.  This weekend my cousin Caitlin came down for a visit.  Of course the first thing Preston did was open his Easter goodies from Caitlin, Aunt Pat and Uncle Dennis.

Then it was off to the neighborhood egg hunt….that was nothing like last year when Preston actually got an egg.  We got their at 3:01.  It started at 3.  It was over at 3:00 and 30 seconds.  Preston happily got back on his bike and it was off to the playground!

Later we did a puzzle and Preston decided he would take a picture of Caitlin and myself.  I must say he did a great job.  Please excuse me half in my pajamas and half still dressed from the day.

Of course no holiday is complete without holiday cupcakes.  Check out these masterpieces…which we made with butter instead of oil.  They were positively divine.

That afternoon we decided to pass some time at Inflation Nation. All the birthday parties are done right now so Preston has not bounced in a while.  As I usually limit this activity, here were some highlights of his a tad over an hour of fun until Mommy dragged him out.

We had a lot of rain on Monday.  So much so it necessitated a rain slicker and the rain boots (this time used for rain instead of FOUR snowstorms-yes still a bit bitter, but the 80 degree temps are melting the bitterness away).  Check out Preston’s rain gear courtesy of Grandma totally falling in love with a children’s boutique on Madison Avenue. And it even adds height!   Hope the Easter Bunny is good to everyone this weekend!

American Idol-Week 3

YEAH-YAH! Usher guest starred tonight, which, no offense, kicked the Miley mentoring episode by far. Although I love how this "guest spot" was timed to coincide with the date his album "dropped." First off -to the woman sitting behind Usher in the audience tonight (and I will extend this as a public service announcement), just because Crystal Bowersox had dreads does not mean that it is an appropriate hairstyle. Sorry got caught up in in that. Second, Usher told us that he got very creative on this new album. I would direct your attention to the lyrics of his new diddy, "Lil Freak." It is an interesting creative angle on that one, but I'll let you decide that on your own.....you can Google now if you must. So let's get to our Top Touring 10.

Siobhan-Wow. Tonight was the first time I have heard her that off key. I don't really understand the judges' issue with her "screamed high note." I mean seriously, didn't Kara write songs for Mariah? I am pretty sure she broke glass on every tune she sang. I think she was a bit psyched out from the feedback last week. Tonight marked the introduction of something new with Idol-the backstage "green" room (which isn't green). Did you catch a glimpse of all that food? I probably wouldn't hear my name called because I'd be filling my mouth with grapes and Gouda.

Casey-I think he did amazing, but for that annoying Orbitz smile after each grouping of words..."Hold on.." [SMILE like a jackass] "I'm coming." [Smile like a jackass]. Reminded me of Clay Aiken and his facial expressions. Sometimes you had to close your eyes. And yes I am aware that Casey is much better eye candy than Clay (OK Clay is not eye candy at all), but the smile was a bit overdone.

Big Mike-I wonder if Mike likes this nickname since now with the popularity of The Blind Side and Michael Oher's nickname? Just wondering. Anyway I guess the judges and I were on a completely different page because seriously if this was the song playing on my alarm clock I am not even sure it would wake me in time to press snooze. Ugh so boring.

Didi-This was the first time in a while I thought Ryan was an utter douche. To put her on the spot like that after her song was just wrong. We all remember her tryouts and that her friend has passed on. Last year Danny Gokey held the sympathy death ticket, this year it's Didi and her BFF. I won't lie, Didi was nothing shy of God awful, but no need to beat the dog when it's down. I also hate Kara's favorite phrase "singer/songwriter." She loves saying it. I think she calls herself that in the mirror. But what becomes of the Idol singer that sucks? She will be in one of those silver butt stools tomorrow.

Tim- WHOO WHOO What's that? The sound of a train traveling eastbound. WHOO WHOO? Then what's that? The sound of a train traveling westbound. On a one way track. (Or "wrong way on a one way track" if you love Soul Asylum). That's right ladies and gents, let's watch this train wreck week in and week out.

Alex-Ugh I did not listen to his performance on protest of anything Chris Brown. I am kind of disappointed I have not seen him cleaning up my local thoroughfares in Richmond. I wonder where he is doing his work release. So I laugh because Simon says he knows nothing about Alex. Really? Really? I bet he recalls though that Alex sang "Straight Up".....the acoustic version.

*Commercial break* Glee is back in two weeks. Who saw Sue Sylvester in the audience???? And why is Kris Allen doing Ford commercials? Because he cannot sell out any concerts? No one scalping tix for those hard-to-find Kris Allen seats? Because his song sucks? Anyone?

Katie- The first thing I noticed was the fact she totally stays up late nights and ordered those "Bump Its" for her hair (the pageant pack). She has a great voice, but I disagree with Randy-she is no Christina Aguilera. I then chuckled when Ellen told her she had a Snooki poof. (And now I have hit a new low citing Jersey Shore in my blog).

Lee-Lee DeWyze. Say his name really fast out loud. Are you totally singing "Edelweiss" from Sound of Music? No? Just me? (Yes you are you liars). Anyway I totally love Lee. He rocks, he's super cute and so humble. (Although this could totally be an act and he is the world's largest DB-I mean look who I chose to take vows with. So you never know).

Crystal-I have to hand it to Crystal, her voice is unreal. What I think I love about her now (besides my hope that she is in fact growing out those dreads) is our mutual loathing for Kara. You know she holds nothing but disdain for her and that makes me want to stay up and vote incessantly for Crystal. I totally took notes and wrote, "get rid of the faux En Vogue (minus one) at the piano" during her performance. This is why Simon and I are totally in check. He should have married me. (I'm in it for the ginormous engagement ring only---OK and the ridiculous wealth. Don't worry, I'd still blog from my yacht). I also loved her shoes but you can tell she cannot walk in heels. I must confess, I love shoes so much. I will never forget slipping into my first pair at age nine. White, peep toe leather shoes with about a one inch heel from Naturalizer. I begged my father to buy them who was really at the store to buy me patent leather Mary Janes for Charlie's Communion. I tried them on, turned my heels a la Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz in those little triangular shoe seats with the mirrors on the side and there was no going back. My love for heels and shoes was born (I did get Mary Janes again though-in high school when Clueless came out and I bought anything that remotely resembled something Alicia Silverstone wore).

Aaron-He has a nice voice but I cannot take him seriously. I mean he is totally unconvincing singing "Ain't No Sunshine" when I am pretty sure he has not ever even seen first base except in gym class.

Who will have to let it burn: Didi

Uncle Chris, Aunt Anna & Art

 

This past weekend we had a great visit with my brother and Anna.  We do not get to see them that often and so when we do we have to jam pack a lot of things into very little time. (Including Chris and I talking about Notorious BIG lyrics-we do, seriously).  Here are some pics of the visit:

Uncle Chris wrestling Preston because P-Dizzle/P-Donkel (Chris’ names for Pres) has a better NCAA bracket than he does thus far.

Then it was time to go outside and do a little baseball practice.  Pres is getting a lot better with his catching (when Chris did not throw the ball at the speed of Mariano Rivera at him).  After b-ball I blew bubbles while Chris and Pres chased them.  Then Chris showed Pres he could catch them in his mouth. Awesome. Thanks Pher.

Preston and Chris enjoyed story time together.  Although I think Chris enjoyed Dinner at the Panda Palace  even more than Pres.

Then it was cuddle time with Aunt Anna.

Tonight was Preston’s Montessori Art Show.  We were sent engraved invitations and it stated “Formal Attire.” I figured ok-formal attire, I am sure Pres can just wear a really nice outfit.  Then this morning I saw Ms. Faith pull out a black dress and thought, “Oh you guys seriously meant formal attire?”  Ms. Kim and Ms. Faith assured me Preston would be fine.  Miss Kim has personally seen Preston’s closet. So I started to relax…until they told me there was going to be a professional photographer, the principal from the local elementary school was going to be there and there was going to be live music.  My face visibly paled.  I walked to the car contemplating every article of clothing in Preston’s closet and dressers.  I was in a state of utter panic calling my mother, Marrah and Mel (almost simultaneously) and trying to figure out how Pres was going to pull off a “formal number.”  The blazer from Katie’s wedding was out-the arms I knew would be too short.  Switching gears but still thinking nautical theme (much like Katie’s wedding) I mentally put together and outfit.  Here is the dude before the show:

I cannot say enough about the art show.  Preston is so blessed to have these teachers.  This was a good month and a half worth of work and effort and I cannot applaud them enough.  They even had cheese, grapes and apple juice in wine glasses.  The artwork was amazing. I had tears in my eyes and the children were so excited to show off their work.

Preston and Miss Kim (Grecian vases that the kids made in teams of two and the rainbow paint art is hanging behind them).

In honor of Michelangelo the kids painted on their backs and they hung the paintings from the ceiling. Pres is on the bottom right.

Preston’s art.  On the table is his sculpture (kids wrapped toys in masking tape and painted them), a self portrait (the kids did faces out of clay and they were sent to a fire pit company to glaze and harden), the canvas is based on Monet’s Water Lilies, the bottom right is Van Gogh’s Sunflowers.   He even got to take his own digital photograph.  I had tears in my eyes.  It was beautiful!

Every good artist must relax with some wine!

American Idol-Week 2

OK. Billboard Number 1's. Why when they have these shows do contestants go out of their way to find songs that I question were ever on the Billboard charts, let alone made it to Number 1? Half of these songs I hate, a few are on my iPod and others make me want to stick bamboo under my fingernails. The second issue I have is the "mentor" they had this week. Picture this-you are sitting in the "sound room" at the Idol McMansion all excited to meet the mentor. The past seasons' contestants have seen the likes of Stevie, Smokey, Mariah, Barry and in walks Miley Cyrus. Don't get me wrong, she's so cute she is like a piece of bubble gum and I have been known to throw my hands up when they play my song (which is usually the Billboard number 1 for the week ironically, that has yet to have been overplayed to the point it takes on bamboo shoot status), but I mean you are getting mentored by Hannah Montana. A Disney character. It's like saying you learned all there is to know about art and classical music from Little Einsteins. (OK confession, Leo and Quincy did clue me in that penguins are indigenous to Patagonia-who the hell knew)? But really half the contestants, minus Aaron are older than her. My third issue is the Idol tour. Why do only ten make it on? I mean it's not like we have 35 contestants, there are 12. TWELVE. What is there not room on the bus? The two extra people will screw up their montages? Katie and I went to the tour concert show for Season 5. It would not have changed the show if the two extra people came. Just saying. It annoys me basically because I don't understand the reasoning. When Ryan calls next time I'll ask him ......(Ryan really doesn't call me). The fourth nerve grating thing tonight was Kara's Victoria Beckham cheek sucking. I have decided that to save myself from the torture that is Kara, next week I am going to fast forward past her spiels. For the sake of my eyeballs because I watch Idol with a writing instrument in my hands to bring you this recap. (Which really isn't a recap-it's my take on the show and my opinions but whatev-you're loyal readers).

Lee- I think while Lee was rehearsing with Miley he was trying to figure out if he hooked up with her if that could land him in the gen pop of the local slammer for her being 17. Then when he started singing I thought he was wearing a silver heart necklace and I thought it was a non-broken best friends necklace!!! Remember those? But he was wearing both parts (were you a fan of BE FRI or the ST ENDS part?) Then I realized it was a silver guitar pick. Still love Lee. Big fan.
Paige-Her getting onto the tour is against all odds. She was so God awful. The only thing rocking about Paige tonight were her earrings. My favorite judge line was said by Randy, "Hi. Dude...Wow...really...honestly...like seriously..wow...really?" It was the same line I uttered upon hearing my ex was bringing another child into this world.
Tim- I am shocked he was still here this week and he should be thankful Paige was actually worse than him. Looks like Tim may make this tour. I've decided he looks just like Ben Stiller-if Ben Stiller was doing really bad karaoke.
Aaron- Awwww. He was so cute with Miley. He's like eight and has a huge crush on her. He was all nervous and excited. I assume that is what I would look like if I ever have the opportunity to be mentored on anything by Derek Jeter. I laughed that he chose "Don't Want to Miss a Thing." He was four when the song debuted. Four. So that means if Preston ever went on Idol (don't worry... he won't-cute voice, but super pitchy) he would rock this week's hits. Anyway off topic for a minute. Armageddon was probably the dumbest movie in history. Think of the concept. A meteor is going to hit Earth unless Bruce Willis travels to the meteor that is going 90 million miles and hour, lands on it, and drills it....OK. Anyway, I think Aaron and his tonsils will make it another week.
Crystal-why in Heaven's name did she bring her own carpet to the show? As much as I like her voice, the remnant carpet and the fact she is adverse to shampoo keep me from liking her more.
Mike-I am starting to get flashbacks to Ruben, minus the 805 or whatever area code shirt he would wear. The only thing Mike would still have to perfect is the Ruben "stand-straight-left-arm out-now-right-arm-out" dance move. I mean I like him-he's my New York homeboy, but he needs to step it up because I agreed with the judges-it was a snoozefest.
Andrew-This guy sucks too. I am perplexed how he made it this far....oh right the acoustic "Straight Up" rendition. How could I possibly forget. (And that was sarcasm).He looks like a tattooed version of the guy that sang "Macarena."

At this point as I was fast forwarding through the commercials, the commercial for Glee came on. I am positively giddy that in three weeks it premieres and it's Opening Day. Mother of everything good and holy. What a week! (And now I re-read that sentence and ponder the state of my loser-ness).

Katie- OK. You guys know I channel Fergie. Nothing has helped me more this past month at the gym than the Black Eyed Peas and Fergie's "Clumsy" which I believe my iPod has played 42 times in March. They are also Preston's fave group who told me this week that he loves their new song "Imma Bee." And to hear him sing it is pretty damn cute. Anyway, watching Katie was like watching a talent show performance in high school. Off topic again....in eighth grade my friend Cheryl and I were in a talent show. We were Wayne (me) and Garth. We were so awesome. I love how humble I am. I have to find a picture. This week her niece was in a talent show. Sadly, we both realized kids today don't even know Wayne and Garth. Schwing!
Casey-OK I am sweating Casey's hair. My mother and Cheryl have both had this curly look which apparently is done, strangely, with a flat iron. I am wondering if Casey knows how to achieve said look? I love personally that he sang Huey Lewis. I pretty much love anything from the 80's and will embrace it.
Didi-Simon stole my line. I write as the contestants are singing on a little notepad. I literally wrote "you're no good." "Exactly" And then Simon took my line. (Which I admit was not all that original anyway, but still). At first when I saw her outfit it appeared that she was wearing a medal from the Vancouver Olympics, which just turned out to be a medallion belt. I was going to get pretty pissed. Preston couldn't even get the Ralph Lauren hat from the Olympics and sucky Didi was getting a medal?
Siobhan-She sang a 70's song dressed like she came out of a late 80's Madonna video. I think she was wearing a banana clip in her hair. Tongiht in the gym the woman next to me told me she thought Siobhan was homeless. Thank goodness for her that she will be on the tour and have the bus to live in. Maybe that's why they can't have 12 people on the tour-Siobhan's mom and dad are tagging along.

My pick to go home: Paige.