American Idol-Week 3

YEAH-YAH! Usher guest starred tonight, which, no offense, kicked the Miley mentoring episode by far. Although I love how this "guest spot" was timed to coincide with the date his album "dropped." First off -to the woman sitting behind Usher in the audience tonight (and I will extend this as a public service announcement), just because Crystal Bowersox had dreads does not mean that it is an appropriate hairstyle. Sorry got caught up in in that. Second, Usher told us that he got very creative on this new album. I would direct your attention to the lyrics of his new diddy, "Lil Freak." It is an interesting creative angle on that one, but I'll let you decide that on your own.....you can Google now if you must. So let's get to our Top Touring 10.

Siobhan-Wow. Tonight was the first time I have heard her that off key. I don't really understand the judges' issue with her "screamed high note." I mean seriously, didn't Kara write songs for Mariah? I am pretty sure she broke glass on every tune she sang. I think she was a bit psyched out from the feedback last week. Tonight marked the introduction of something new with Idol-the backstage "green" room (which isn't green). Did you catch a glimpse of all that food? I probably wouldn't hear my name called because I'd be filling my mouth with grapes and Gouda.

Casey-I think he did amazing, but for that annoying Orbitz smile after each grouping of words..."Hold on.." [SMILE like a jackass] "I'm coming." [Smile like a jackass]. Reminded me of Clay Aiken and his facial expressions. Sometimes you had to close your eyes. And yes I am aware that Casey is much better eye candy than Clay (OK Clay is not eye candy at all), but the smile was a bit overdone.

Big Mike-I wonder if Mike likes this nickname since now with the popularity of The Blind Side and Michael Oher's nickname? Just wondering. Anyway I guess the judges and I were on a completely different page because seriously if this was the song playing on my alarm clock I am not even sure it would wake me in time to press snooze. Ugh so boring.

Didi-This was the first time in a while I thought Ryan was an utter douche. To put her on the spot like that after her song was just wrong. We all remember her tryouts and that her friend has passed on. Last year Danny Gokey held the sympathy death ticket, this year it's Didi and her BFF. I won't lie, Didi was nothing shy of God awful, but no need to beat the dog when it's down. I also hate Kara's favorite phrase "singer/songwriter." She loves saying it. I think she calls herself that in the mirror. But what becomes of the Idol singer that sucks? She will be in one of those silver butt stools tomorrow.

Tim- WHOO WHOO What's that? The sound of a train traveling eastbound. WHOO WHOO? Then what's that? The sound of a train traveling westbound. On a one way track. (Or "wrong way on a one way track" if you love Soul Asylum). That's right ladies and gents, let's watch this train wreck week in and week out.

Alex-Ugh I did not listen to his performance on protest of anything Chris Brown. I am kind of disappointed I have not seen him cleaning up my local thoroughfares in Richmond. I wonder where he is doing his work release. So I laugh because Simon says he knows nothing about Alex. Really? Really? I bet he recalls though that Alex sang "Straight Up".....the acoustic version.

*Commercial break* Glee is back in two weeks. Who saw Sue Sylvester in the audience???? And why is Kris Allen doing Ford commercials? Because he cannot sell out any concerts? No one scalping tix for those hard-to-find Kris Allen seats? Because his song sucks? Anyone?

Katie- The first thing I noticed was the fact she totally stays up late nights and ordered those "Bump Its" for her hair (the pageant pack). She has a great voice, but I disagree with Randy-she is no Christina Aguilera. I then chuckled when Ellen told her she had a Snooki poof. (And now I have hit a new low citing Jersey Shore in my blog).

Lee-Lee DeWyze. Say his name really fast out loud. Are you totally singing "Edelweiss" from Sound of Music? No? Just me? (Yes you are you liars). Anyway I totally love Lee. He rocks, he's super cute and so humble. (Although this could totally be an act and he is the world's largest DB-I mean look who I chose to take vows with. So you never know).

Crystal-I have to hand it to Crystal, her voice is unreal. What I think I love about her now (besides my hope that she is in fact growing out those dreads) is our mutual loathing for Kara. You know she holds nothing but disdain for her and that makes me want to stay up and vote incessantly for Crystal. I totally took notes and wrote, "get rid of the faux En Vogue (minus one) at the piano" during her performance. This is why Simon and I are totally in check. He should have married me. (I'm in it for the ginormous engagement ring only---OK and the ridiculous wealth. Don't worry, I'd still blog from my yacht). I also loved her shoes but you can tell she cannot walk in heels. I must confess, I love shoes so much. I will never forget slipping into my first pair at age nine. White, peep toe leather shoes with about a one inch heel from Naturalizer. I begged my father to buy them who was really at the store to buy me patent leather Mary Janes for Charlie's Communion. I tried them on, turned my heels a la Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz in those little triangular shoe seats with the mirrors on the side and there was no going back. My love for heels and shoes was born (I did get Mary Janes again though-in high school when Clueless came out and I bought anything that remotely resembled something Alicia Silverstone wore).

Aaron-He has a nice voice but I cannot take him seriously. I mean he is totally unconvincing singing "Ain't No Sunshine" when I am pretty sure he has not ever even seen first base except in gym class.

Who will have to let it burn: Didi