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Preston-circa 7 months.

Ok guys, well I am trying to figure out how to do a New York "post," (pun completely intended) for the conference, but I am at a total loss. The conference is also a trip home for me and I must get together with the family and friends back on the Island on the 3rd and part of the 4th. I am only signed up for the Welcome Reception which is on Sunday. I know many of you signed up for events-and you should-after all it's New York, but I am passing on spending $100 bucks per event for places I have walked by 4 million times. But I want to meet everyone so I am in a dilemma. So this is what I need you to do: in the comments section here tell me what you are signed up for and when you arrive and where you are staying. Then this will make more sense.
But I feel that I owe you guys some NY tidbits on the subway system:

The Subway: Not to be confused with the sandwich place (Are you totally singing "Five...five dollar...."). Ahhh the good ol' MTA. The system is numbers and letters. The numbers or letters are in colors-but we are not Boston and we do not refer to our "lines" in color. Most of you are staying between the Marriott Downtown and the Marriott Brooklyn. To get back and forth you are going to take the Lexington Ave. line or the 4,5,6 line-but only the 4 and 5 run between these two places. There are schedules I think-I have never actually seen a subway schedule other than once online. They just come...back and forth. If there is a jam up you probably will not find anyone to ask and if they make an announcement there is a great chance the speaker will sound like Charlie Brown's teacher. You have a lot of those people that think they will solve said problem by walking to the edge and peering down the tracks looking for lights of the train-everyone does this-the train does not come faster-but you will probably see a rat.
And you may be lucky to see the following forms of shopping and entertainment:

a) Bootleg DVDs and CDs spread out on a dirty vile sheet to be easily picked up with the transit cops actually patrol.
b) Steel drum players or string quartets or people who paint themselves silver and stand still (I mean I don't get the silver paint-we are not confused-we know you are not a statue), break dancers all on the outside of the platform-some are pretty good-I don't really have time usually to stop and take it in when fighting 8 million to get to work. There is a calliope player-he is bent sideways, has long white hair and very scary puppets. He is usually in tunnels between big stations like Grand Central or Times Square.
c) The mariachi band or the break dancers who accompany you onto the train. HATE these people. There is nothing worse than five teenagers break dancing on a train. As a lawyer I love figuring out the liability suits while these kids are doing back flips. And the acoustics of the train car is less than ideal for the band.
d) Old foreign men and women selling batteries that are totally illegal and will run out before your destination. Meanwhile who is still listening to portable CD players that even require batteries?
e) The man that started the Homeless Food Drive-who brings Bologna sandwiches onto the trains and asks for your "dollars, quarters, dimes, nickels and pennies to make sure no one goes hungry." He carries credentials, but it seems he is the only person that does this Homeless Food Drive-and the thought of bologna sandwiches at 7am is enough to make me want to retch my Starbucks.
f) People that don't bathe and are wearing seventeen layers in 100 degree heat that have decided an entire row of perfectly good seats is an acceptable bed.
g) The kids who sell M&M's to stay out of trouble-I cannot help but think of Chris Rock's stand up about deadbeat dads who proclaim they take care of their kids and Chris said, "You don't get applause-you are supposed to take care of your kids." or something to that effect. So I do not feel I need to buy M&M's so a kid can do what they are supposed to do-go to school, not take drugs and stay out of trouble.
h)Bible readers-so loud an unnecessary when you are so close to the person next to you you can see their pores and all you want to do is just get to your destination in peace and quiet. And they always pick some violent passage too-about fire, brimstone, damnation-nothing upbeat at all. You usually feel pretty sucky about yourself if you actually listen.
i) People who feel the need to sing along outloud with their IPod-um perhaps you did not get the memo but you are not Beyonce, Britney, Lady Gaga...stop singing!
Aren't you psyched to ride??????

Weekends are not as bad and weekends in the city in the summer are much less crowded than let's say...Christmastime. Most people are at the beach. Add this to the holiday weekend and the city should be deader than normal. On the weekends there are always track changes and delays, most are noticed on signs in the station. And New Yorkers are nice-we are-we will always help a tourist find their way. We might not seem nice because we are tired, hot and stuck together on subways, but we do help! So don't be afraid to ask.

I would not however, recommened subways past eleven pm without a big entourage.


Taxis: Did you ever hear Jerry Seinfeld's stand up on NY cab drivers? My sister has the book-Katie quote me the lines-only Jerry does it right.
So grab your Metro Cards folks and let's go!
Preston circa December on the streets of Manhattan: